Thursday, December 29, 2005


What do you think about this statement?

Cougar Jr.

Some of you know that I joke about being a university aged Cougar (or Cougador). If you're unfamiliar with the term Cougar, it means an older woman who preys upon younger men for the purposes of dating and more. I joke about me being one because I'm 24 and first year boys are 17-18. That is younger than me. I don't actually put on tight animal print clothing and chase these boys. I only joke about it. I can also only really be a cougar while I'm still doing my undergrad. Once I've graduated my well of younger men will have dried up. Traditional Cougars are 40-75 year-old women who prey upon any male that moves.

Last night I was at an establishment with my friend Lesley doing some Kareoke. Lesley said that ordinarily there is a large group of her and her friends and then some younger women who sing strictly country music and wear tight shirts. Last night there was quite the crowd there due to the holiday season. There was also a Cougar Jr. Les and I figured she was about our age. She was wearing TIGHT jeans and a TIGHT shirt (with a gap inbetween). Her shirt had a cavernous plunging neck line ("w/your high heeled shoes and your low necked sweater") and a dangling necklace that drew the eyes down. She came in with some 17-21 year-old boys and when more came in she smelled fresh meat and went into attack mode. It was quite the show. She danced up a storm with these young men, drank a lot, took many, many digital pictures and generally did her thing. The funniest part was watching these boys try not to look at her boobs with her noticing that they were looking at her boobs. I was afraid when she would dance on the tops of chairs. A person could hurt themselves.


Sunday, December 25, 2005

Saturday, December 24, 2005

I Forgot Some Good Ones

  • i own 5 different colours of nail polish
  • i own 2 different scents of perfume
  • i have a fairly ridged shampoo and conditioning routine (different ones on certains days/times of the week)
  • i own sparkly panty hose

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Wasting Time

So I'm waiting for a CD to burn. It is for the family trip tomorrow to Ottawa. It is taking quite a while and I've decided to amuse myself with you. A few of my friends from the region I grew up in have been tagging eachother with a blog thing where they have to post 5 or 10 random things about themselves. I don't want to force anyone to do that. But I thought I could likely come up with a few things, some interesting things, especially because I'm sleep deprived (stupid cats!) and bored with waiting for this CD to burn. So here I go:

  1. I've never been to Florida
  2. Both of my second toes are longer than the 'Big' toe
  3. I used to have a gap so big between my two front teeth that I could make them whistle
  4. I have chicken pox scars on various parts of my body
  5. My childhood teddy bear's name was Radar, he was named after the character from the tv show MASH
  6. I have manageble fears of both heights and water
  7. I hate onions, tomatoes and FISH
  8. I used to eat the fuzzies off of my childhood blanket
  9. I moved to Brighton when I was 2
  10. The Disney film Beauty and the Beast made me cry
  11. I'm too anal retentive to sleep in cars (and usually buses)
  12. I once stayed up for 36hrs straight
  13. I've dated two guys named Dan
  14. I couldn't spell decision until last year
  15. I wasn't allowed to wear jeans until grade 4
  16. I once called my kindergarten teacher Grandma
  17. My name was almost Victoria Caroline
  18. I've never broken a bone, but I have ruptured a vein and tore and hole in my lung wall
  19. Henna once made me puke
  20. I like to speak with accents when I order food in a drive through

A Return

I was supposed to mention to you that Jake has been blogging again.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

An Intial Hurdle, But I Think It Will Be Great

Today -
I came downstairs, got my breakfast going and went into the bathroom to get my pill. I put the pill down to put the package away and it rolled off the counter and into the kitty litter box. Ew. But I will not be deterred. Marie Stevens is on her way here right now! Also, my Mom is feeling good enough to make fresh bread, my favourite kind with the salty crust. So I'll have my family, one of my best friends, homemade bread and chili. Oh me, oh my.

Its also snowing...big fluffy snow, or what Mom would call Julie Andrews snow (cause it falls on your nose and eye lashes)

Oh, oh guess what?!? Grandma and Grandpa Stewart are coming to our house on Christmas day! For breakfast AND lunch. We're really excited!

Monday, December 19, 2005

A Little Theatre History For You

...Just thought you should know that the Aztecs had a form a theatre where they would erect an 80 foot pole, tie a woman to the top of it by her feet and then have her spin around.

I think Redeemer needs that.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Candlelight Service

Ok, seriously...come to the Candlelight Service at First CRC tomorrow night (Sunday) at 6pm. Not only is it actually a candle lit service but it is soooo coool. There is lots and lots of music for the season, so its music you know. And First has the provisions for amazing music making. There are buses that go right to the church if you don't drive or walk. Come, come seriously come.


Some highlights (from my perspective) from an hour and a half of caroling:

  • "which one of you is the highest note ever?"
  • the drunk guy who requested Rudolph, sang it with us and then when we sang God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen broke into a solo verse about going to Pizza Hut and seeing King Kong
  • having 7 cents thrown at us
  • trying to pick out alto lines i've never seen before
  • people smiling at us
  • fun with nice people
  • singing stuff with alto lines that i did know and having some pretty tight harmonies come out
  • one police officer coming and watching
  • two police officers coming and watching
  • police officers making requests
  • police officers offering to take pictures of us
  • filling my car with people and taking every round-about on Kitty Murray as sharply as I could
  • things that came out of William's (Wilhelmus) mouth
  • hot chocolate at the tower after we were done

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

I'm Cool.

Go here and check out the Dec 13 post.

My Dad Might Be A Jerk

The only two people on my Dad's MSN Messenger contact list are my brother and I. This is his current online name:

Saturday, December 10, 2005

A Song With Good Words

Cry (if you want to)
by: Holly Cole

Cry if you want
I wont tell you not to
I won’t try to cheer you up
I'll just be here if you want me

It’s no use in keeping a stiff upper lip
You can weep you can sleep you can loosen your grip
You can frown you can drown and go down with the ship
You cry if you want to

Don’t ever apologize venting your pain
Its something to me you don’t need to explain
I don’t need to know why
I don’t think it’s insane
You can cry if you want to

The windows are closed
The neighbors aren’t home
If it’s better with me than to do it alone
I'll draw all the curtains and unplug the phone
You can cry if you want

You can stare at the ceiling and tear at your hair
Swallow your feelings and stager and swear
You could show things and throw things and I wouldn’t care
You can cry if you want to

I won’t make fun of you
I won’t tell any one
I won’t analyze what you do or you should have done
I won’t advise you to go and have fun
You can cry if you want to

Well it’s empty and ugly and terribly sad
I can’t feel what you feel but I know it feels bad
I know that its real and it makes you so mad
You could cry

Cry if you want to I won’t tell you not to
I won’t try and cheer you up
I'll just be here if you want me; to be
Near you


  • i saw Narnia last night
  • i'm tired
  • my brother comes home on friday
  • i go home the following monday
  • i had a hilarious convo with Andrew Zantingh and Aaron Schat about clothes in the 80's
  • alpha is done and along with it, my longest stint as a worship leader
  • i auditioned for the mainstage
  • i'm going to connetticut in january
  • i just read a play in which a woman got raped with a crucifix, now i'm writing an essay about it
  • the last church in the box of the semester is tomorrow
  • i should finally get to see a doctor on wednesday and find out why i'm in pain all the time
  • my compassion child's birthday is coming up
  • i finished a song and sort of started another
  • jo tried to hit me with the air plane but it wouldn't fly straight

Thursday, December 08, 2005

God's Sense of Humour

The last classes of the semester finish and then we get 5-10cm of snow.

death. death. death.

A New Sport

Through a slip of the tongue, I created a new sport last night: finger skating. Let your imagination go...

(but i didn't invent finger skate boarding...that already exists.)

Wednesday, December 07, 2005


Did you ever have a day that you weren't sure you wanted to start? That maybe your grades in so many classes depended on what kind of a day it was for you? And that maybe you'd rather stay in your bed where its warm, wearing you flannel sheep pyjamas and listening to the Simpsons on your computer?

I'm having one of those days.

(Ready, one, two, three....get dressed and go!)

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Complete and Utter Bullshit

Jo and I received Pizza Pizza tonight. On the box there was a sticker for this campaign. Let me tell you here and now that that campaign is being run on a host of inaccuracies. As a diary farmer's daughter I can tell you truthfully that this campaign is a greed based smear campaign. So please if you see anything about it don't buy into it. And if you love your dairy farmers I would encourage you to avoid restaurants like Pizza Pizza that are a part of the campaign.

A Choir Post

I figured I should say something about the choir concert that was on Friday. I often feel terrible after these performances. I attribute this terribleness to putting too much pressure on myself, screwing up a lot, not practicing enough early in the semester, etc... But I actually feel good about the concert that just happened. I started extra rehearsals with other choir members at the very beginning of the semester, I downloaded as many of the songs as I could, I have the benefit of 3 semesters of voice lessons, and I'm a little more relaxed. Through many of those factors the concert went well for me. I had a good time and I had a healthy worship experience too. I'm not sure you can ask for anything more.


So last night on my way home from Sarah's bridal shower I was driving on Garner Rd right before Southcote. I looked ahead to the stop light and saw headlights in my lane. The headlights kept coming towards me in my lane. Some traffic on the other side of the road was slowing down or stopped to see what this vehicle was doing. I quickly pulled over to the side of the road in time to see a Ford Taurus drive past me in my lane. Then after it passed me it got into its own lane.


ps, if you read the post below you'll notice its mostly the same as this one. The difference is that i chose to hit 'replace' with every word spellcheck didn't like.


So last night on my way home from Karachi bridal shower I was driving on Garner Rd right before southeast. I looked ahead to the staples and saw headlights in my lane. The headlights kept coming towards me in my lane. Some traffic on the other side of the road was slowing down or stopped to see what this vehicle was doing. I quickly pulled over to the side of the road in time to see a Ford Taurus drive past me in my lane. Then after it passed me it got into its own lane.


Thursday, December 01, 2005

It Started In January 2004 And Now...


Those of us in university are really busy right now. Those in the outside world are really busy right now. Pray for someone. You know that you need prayer, and so do the people you see bustling about in your day.

Monday, November 28, 2005

Tough Weekend for Martial Arts Film Fans

On the weekend that martial arts film fans are paying tribute to Bruce Lee, 30 years after his death Mr Miyagi from the Karate Kid dies. Wow. Thats tough sluggin.

Friday, November 25, 2005

Quote From Directing Class

"Is Poultry a worldview?"


In reference to the Lord's Prayer:

"And because Christ, the most obedient petitioner of all, did more than mouth this petition; because he truly bowed his heart before the Father's will, despite the indescribably horrors it cost him, we are saved. The Lord's (enacted) Prayer is the beginning of salvation in the world. Jesus not only prayed to teach us prayer; he became his prayer in order to become our prayer, the right and the power of our praying."

-from Walter Wangerin Jr.'s book "Whole Prayer"

Monday, November 21, 2005

a little free advice.

taking the lactaid out of the bottle and placing it beside your plate does not equal swallowing them before you actually started eating.


Sunday, November 20, 2005

No wonder he chose this place.

Christians between the age of 17-25 have a special niche in the Kingdom. Most people in this demographic are in some sort of transitory and prepatory stage of their lives. This means that when God calls with a task we are able to answer. Most of us do not have a house or small children. We are able to pick up and move when needed. We are also for the most part well trained, getting well trained or willing to be well trained. All of these things make us a special unit in the army of God. We are a highly mobile task force.

Now, while thinking about this task force think also about its training. There happens to be a training ground for such a task force right here in Hamilton. Most of the people who read my blog are likely familiar with Redeemer University College. Redeemer is a place where we can be trained in so many areas. We have the opportunity to be sharpened and refined along with our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. We can challenge each other and be changed by our Creator in order to be more like him. We can find out about what kind of gifts we have been given, we can develop them, we can use them and we can encourage others in that same task. Redeemer is a training ground for life in the Kingdom

So if Redeemer has this much potential is there any wonder why Satan would want to dwell there? And right now he is. He is sitting ass first on our light; thereby squashing it. He has covered the campus with a blanket of apathy. And the beautiful part for him is that we don't know he's done that. But even if we did, I'm highly doubtful that we'd do anything about it anyway. The apathy is that strong. Satan has taken over the training ground. By blanketing us with apathy he renders Redeemer useless.

Over the past year and a half I've had the opportunity to be on the Church in the Box prayer team. And it has felt like it has taken less and less time each month for Satan to overpower what is happening in the service. Oh how I remember the days when I couldn't feel his presence until the message. That would be a respite now. Today when we went into to pray at 3pm he was already there. He had claimed the auditorium space for himself and was just waiting for people to come in. We were praying till the point of perspiration to get him out of there and to claim that space in the of and for Jesus.

Satan is at Redeemer. But so is God. God is dancing around in front of us just longing to take up and build relationships with us. He's ready to kick Satan out and uncover the light Redeemer can shine upon the community and the world. Are you ready to shake off that blanket of apathy? Are you ready be changed? Are you ready to be anointed and commissioned? Then tell Him and lets go!

Friday, November 18, 2005

Could You?

Hey guys I'm going away for the weekend to help lead a retreat for a bunch of churches in the area that have been doing the Alpha course. I happen to be leading worship at this retreat to. I'm feeling a little stress about this due to school stuff, feeling unprepared, feeling inadequate and generally not wanting to screw things up. There will be lots of new believers, not yet believers and coming back to belivingers and I don't want them not to know Christ because of something that I did or did not do. So if when you're praying this weekend you could give a little shout out on my behalf I would appreciate it.


Thursday, November 17, 2005

Validating Those Who Can Write Bigger Cheques

Time Out Says:

OPEN HOUSE: Redeemer will be hosting its 5th Annual Business Community Open House this Thursday, November 17 from 4:30 – 6:00 pm in the Main Foyer. We expect to have over 100 people attend and we encourage you to make our guests feel welcome. The program will begin at 5:00 pm with Redeemer’s Choir performing, President Justin Cooper welcoming guests, greetings from Deputy Mayor Bill Kelly (City of Hamilton), and Student Scholarship and Award presentations. The program will conclude with the Opening of the Peter Turkstra Library, a ribbon cutting ceremony, and tours of the new South Wing and other campus points of interest.

The Email sent to the students says:

Many of you will have read about theOpening of the Peter Turkstra Library and a ribbon cutting ceremony” taking place as part of the Business Open House. This opening is ceremonial only, and does not signify the actual opening of the Library. You will also notice that the plywood wall outside the library is down. Again, the library is not open for business. Much work still remains to be done to get everything to the point where we are ready to open, and we ask that you not try to enter the library to look around. The plan is to open the library the week of November 28th. More details will be forthcoming. Thank you for your patience.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

The Trinity Explained.

Its like an egg. You have the yolk, the shell and the white. The three in one, the one in thee.

-source: Annette Fluit's Dad

Monday, November 14, 2005

I love these people.

(l-r) kevin, sarah, me, lorraine, ruth, anj, justin, james, john - 'tep is taking the picture

Sunday, November 13, 2005

My brother is coming to hamilton.

----- Original Message -----
Sent: Saturday, November 12, 2005 8:51 PM
Subject: John just called...

...from the hockey game at Des Moines. Yes, the Yellow Jacket football team won. 30 something to 16. Yes, the goal posts ended up in the lake. Yes, John was helping to put them there. Yes, some kid fell from the said goal posts and broke his femur. Yes, there is a big party waiting for them when they get back to Lamoni.

Saturday, November 12, 2005


Do you ever wonder how many lost bobbipins are floating around in this world?

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

LStew has a male in her life...

This is something that has kind of overwhelmed me in the past few months. But I think its something that I just need to share. I am totally in love with God. Head over heals in love. I just can't help but hang out with him as often as I can. I get pouty if I don't see him. And romance me; wow! He essentially takes care of everything that I could possibly need and more! He just makes me smile.

There, now its out in the open.

Monday, November 07, 2005


You might remember that I got stung/bit on August 18th of this year and consequently had to miss about 2.5 weeks of work. I still have not recieved my WSIB payment. Sigh.

Sunday, November 06, 2005


  1. Tickets are onsale for the Fall mainstage and Concert Choir performance at Redeemer, come to both
  2. Do something nice for someone this week
  3. Pray
  4. You were supposed to set your clock back last weekend, if you've been confused for the past week - well now you know why
  5. I love you.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Something I'm Excited About

Ok, so on friday night I'm carpooling with some esteemed peeps to Lorraine's for a party weekend in Clinton. Guest list includes: Lorraine, her boyfriend Paul, Sarah Binks, her boyfriend Kevin, Stephanie Van Straten, Anj and Justin Colyn, Ruth and John Arthur and myself. If past get togethers are an indication there promises to be lots of bed fire, warped balderdash, ab building fun.

Just thought I'd share.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Remember that time....

  • The house has no heat due to a gas leak
  • the neighbours were drunk and woke me up at 1:30am
  • Sarah forgot about the time change and woke me up at 7:30am
  • the sunday school kids sucked AND
  • one of them had an anger fit and threw a book at his sister

  • my house is cold
  • i have a cold
  • i need a hug.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Katherine had a baby girl!

Context: my cousin Katherine, the one who I was the maid of honour for last fall, the one who's Dad farms with my Dad, who was like my older sister growing up...well she had a baby girl yesterday morning!

So this is Leah.

Leah and Katherine.

Katherine, her husband John and their new daughter.

Uncle Peter and Aunt Rosemary (aka the newest Grandma and Grandpa Stewart) with their first grandchild.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Something that makes me laugh on the inside...

...bald men with wispy comb-overs on a windy day. Ah ha ha, that comb-over ain't stayin put. And maybe the wind and such is God's way of saying, "Get a hair cut!"

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Is This Right?

This struck me as funny: in order to be a youth group leader i have to fill out a five page form that includes my SIN and drivers license number, a waiver, a statement, what high school I went to and lots more. But to teach Sunday school I only needed to say yes to a phone call.


Friday, October 14, 2005


Hey y'all, just wanted to let y'all know that my wee brother John and his roommate Matt are hosting a radio show for the Graceland University radio station. Its on Monday, Wednesday and Fridays from 10pm-11pm and focuses on classic rock-esque music. It also promises witty and insightful dialogue.

If you go to and then look at the bottom of the right hand side bar you will see a little pull down menu for on or off campus...choose off campus and then hit play!

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Not So Random Act of Kindness

I have been in quite a few conversations lately about feeling special as a result of other people's actions. Now, before you jump down my face and tell me that all specialness comes from God and we are to be rooted in Him that created us... - I will say I know. Ok, I know.

With that over with, I am going to encourage/propose something. Today (the day you read this) do something nice for someone. But don't be all annonymous. Be purposeful. Write a card and pop it in the mail, make/take some one out for lunch, send an encouraging email, give a hug, whatever, however, but be God with skin and encourage someone through and with the love you experience through the risen Lord. Let them know you are glad that they are a part of the creation.

After you have done that take your daytimer/palm pilot/calendar/wall/etc and go through and make yourself some more days to do that.


Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Too Many Rachs

Ok, Breimer, Legg, Vanderdeen...we need to talk..sometimes I get really confused with much 'rach' leaving comments and not knowing which one it is coming from and then the weeping and gnashing of teeth... so maybe a little last name initial thing like rach b or two of you are married so Mrs motif..think about it...cause really, do we need to have Lstew more confused?

Or maybe what you mean to say is that you are cowering in fear of Google Talk and the rest of the Google Empire...muah ha ha ha ha...

Microsoft, Yahoo to link up instant messaging services...

Users of Microsoft and Yahoo's instant messaging (IM) services will soon have millions of new people to chat with after the two companies announced plans to make each service compatible with the other.....

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Just in case you were jealous...

Maria and I are going to Brighton for Thanksgiving. My Mom emailed me a preliminary menu, coincidently it is similar to part of the list of things I am thankful for...

Menu as it stands is: turkey,gravy, stuffing, cranberries,Brussels sprouts, squash,cauliflower,corn,sauerkraut,steamed apples, jellied salad, potatoes,pumpkin, apple and grape pies, mints, tea, coffee.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

I Had Better Purchase Some Klumpen

Today after church I went to go and add myself to the Classis Hamilton Directory. I thought it was about time, and now that I am involved with things in the church it might be easier to get a hold of me. So I start turning to the S section and when I get there, what to my wondering eyes I behold? I was already there (with the wrong address), they were going to add me on their own! I almost shed a tear as I corrected the address.

Oh the furthering of my Dutch adoption...long live Laura Vander Van de Stewartsmastra!

I'd Better Grab My Millstone

Luke 17:1-4
Jesus said to his disciples: "Things that cause people to sin are bound to come, but woe to that person through whom they come. It would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around his neck than for him to cause one of these little ones to sin. So watch yourselves. "If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, 'I repent,' forgive him."

Today at First we had Rev. Dr. Henry Wildeboer as a visiting preacher. This guy very much impressed me with his passion and fire, but he also gave a great sermon. It was on forgiveness and its role in everyday life. He also spoke about the sin that leads to the need for forgiving. He highlighted the text in Luke 17 about causing others to sin.

Lately I have been thinking a lot about/been convicted about my language/things that come out of my mouth. I had always considered this to be a personal sin: one that I have struggled with for a very long time. For me it is tied up in issues of purity and pride. I thought these were things that I would continue to work on and with the help of God bring under control. I hadn't really ever thought about the effects my choices were having on those around me.

I didn't think beyond myself and therefore didn't think that my sexually inappropriate language could be causing others to sin. I didn't think that my colourful exclamations could be tainting people I care about. I am glad to have this plank removed from my eye, but plank removal leaves quite the ouchie and will take time to heal and move on.

I would like to say I am sorry for damaging people I love and I would encourage you as my brothers and sisters in Christ to rebuke me in my sins of language and encourage me to do better.

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Is This a Health Care Issue?

Ok, this is my 4th (of 5) years in the Redeemer Concert Choir. And although I love music and being a part of it, it should be known that my knowledge of music theory and the like is quite limited.

There is one term that Dr. T uses frequently in rehearsals that I have never known the meaning of. I spoke to a few other choristers past and present and they didn't know what it meant either. I'm glad to know I'm not alone in my ignorance.

So I give you the term in question: hemiola (hee-mee-oh-lah). My guess at its meaning had something to do with internal bleeding. Turns out this is it: Hemiola n:a musical rhythmic alteration consisting of three beats in place of two or two beats in place of three.

This doesn't make it 100% clear to me, but at least I have a working definition and I can stop praying for all these people that I thought were dying.

Friday, September 30, 2005


My monitor died today (*crossing self). So until I have another one, which will hopefull be soon (i have some calls into nerdly types for help) internet functions will be limited to the generosity of Johanna. And well, I think we all know how that goes...cough..(Jo, stop hitting me!). My compy is still on, so it looks like I'm online...don't try and talk to me, I can't really answer.

In conclusion I would like to congratulate Rachel on her last day of work and a second interview, tell Jo to stop trying to kill me in my sleep, say a prayer for my monitor that was manufactured in 1996 and to my brakes which are worn down. Sigh. I hate money. But I love Jesus and hot tamales, so it all works out.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Monday, September 26, 2005

Speaking of secret crush...

**the messenger window was edited in no way**

Calling Secret Crush Into Action

Dear Secret Crush,

I don't know if you exist or if you read my blog, but let us just say you are and you do. I have a hankering for some batting cage action. So I think you need to get some courage (liquid or otherwise) and take me to the batting cages. Assuming you aren't creepy and unbiblical I think it could be a good start to something beautiful.

Your slugging sweetheart,


Thursday, September 22, 2005

My Mom

I love my Mom. I seriously do.

Sometimes I mention that my Mom is not a healthy woman and many of you ask me to expain. I think this should help:

----- Original Message -----
From: Bruce Stewart
To: Laura Stewart ; Johnny Stewart
Sent: Thursday, September 22, 2005 1:39 PM
Subject: hi kids

I think i will go back to taking one at night, but not this evening so i will be ok when you are home Laura.

Seems i am just not cut out for the long term standing, which kinda cuts into my as well as others. I am SO GLAD I have the handicap parking thingy. The less steps taken the better.

Well I guess I will do some painting this afternoon til my head clears. Johnny, I will have to get Laura to set up the camra thing on the computer so you can see how the "grocery shopper" painting has come along. I have finished working on the parking elf at Christmas at Persqui'le. It looks good and Iam contemplating (big word for the way my head feels) having it printrd up into greeting cards.

I love you guys.
Be good, Christmas is coming (especially in Trenton where they are already putting up decorations) and Santa is watching!

xxx, Loopy mom xxx

Wednesday, September 21, 2005


An example of how my brain works while I am running fever...aas if the prevous 3 pots weren't enough...

In the freezer there is some pasta. Karmyn has labeled it as hers. The marker used to label it is starting to come off. When I glanced at it I thought it said Larry instead of Karmyn. Then I thought in my head that Karmyn should change her name to Larry the Apostle.

Yeah Stewie...good one...go back to bed.

Monday, September 19, 2005

Rob Joustra

Once upon a time there was a dude named Rob Joustra. It turns out that he isn't dead, but in Japan (which some view as being the same as dead). But in this picture it looks like he has expired at some sort of beachfront life celebration service. We'll miss you brother Rob.

Sunday, September 18, 2005


I was watching a bit of the Emmys tonight. I have noticed that on most shows where celebrities are presenting awards the celebrities don't seem to be aware of the omni directional mic they are using and feel they have to crouch down and speak directly into the mic. Can no one give these people a primer before they embark on this televised journey? Don't they see their friends and colleagues looking like idiots by leaning into co-presenters to get closer to the mic.


Family Feud

Today I thought of a terrible Family Feud survey question.

"Ok hands on your buzzers...ready?"
(head nodding)
"Alright Nunnzio Family, Wong Family, what is something dusty you put in your mouth?"
(stupified looks)

(Laura in audience, tips head back and cackles) "Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha..cough, ha hah..wah, whoa."

Friday, September 16, 2005


In case you weren't around when I got stung, this is what my arm looked like a few days after the actual stinging...


I'm glad we have 100% of a married couple in choir again.

Monday, September 12, 2005


These are three names I'm glad that aren't mine:
  1. Goneril
  2. Eunice Gayson
  3. Lesbia

Happy 66th Anniversary Grandma and Grandpa Stewart

So, I haven't posted for a few days because I was trying to think of something worth while to post for my 350th post. Then today happened and its my awesome Grandparents' anniversary and I think that is worth a post (or two). So Stirling and Edna Stewart I raise my Bible to you and pray that I can one day have a marriage as solid, Christ centered and loving as yours!

Thursday, September 08, 2005

These are the people in my neighbourhood...

This is which profs I will see Mon-Thurs (i have no Fri class) (and this includes choir) and what order I see them in:

Sharon Klassen, Ray Louter, Dr. Teeuwsen, Ray, Sharon, Dr. T, David Antscherl, Sharon, Ray, Ray, Sharon, Dr. T.

Variety is the spice of life.


Tuesday, September 06, 2005


Sometimes I have this little wish that Patrick Stewart was one of my Theatre profs. I'm pretty sure I could listen to and look at him alllll the doo-dah-day.

I might also feel that he is an attractive man and should he become one of my profs he would not be the first prof that I felt had been sculpted extra nicely by the hand of our Creator.

Sunday, September 04, 2005


As a student who has lived in and had to set up four off campus houses, I understand the priorities of the newly moved in person. Here are some of the main ones in the order that they get set up:

  1. phone
  2. computer & internet
  3. bed
  4. food/kitchen
  5. stereo
  6. tv/dvd/vcr

and two months later everything else...

Oh Betty!

Today after church Betty Spoelstra (my favourite woman of colour) told me that the reason I don't have a boyfriend is because of my quickness and my brightness, and she said that all the boys would be intimidated by that/me.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Prayers Answered In a Big Way

Alright, this should be what I am hoping is the last addition to the Sting Saga.

My parents came and picked me up on Sunday and gave me the love that only a parent can. It was nice not to have to worry about meals and such. I also got to take advantage of their satellite television and catch up with some old friends called V.I.P. and Star Trek T.N.G. (my goodness i love Spike TV).

Tuesday rolls around and in the middle of a nap I get this call from the City of Hamilton telling me that I have to go back to work and what day am I coming. Let us just say that my heart started to pump quickly as I struggled to grasp what was going on. I fumbled with an answer of Thursday, but told her that I really wasn't sure. She told me I had to come back before school started and that there were all kinds of forms that I should have filled out and would need to fill out and get a doctor to fill out. This was all a surprise to me. No foreman had mentioned anything like this in their phone calls to me. I did what I could to satisfy the woman on the phone and the call ended.

I tired to convey the details of the conversation to my Mom and almost ended up in tears. I knew I wasn't ready to go back to work. Mom and I devised a plan of heading to the hammer on Wednesday, seeing a doctor at the Locke St Clinic to fill out the Functional Abilities form the City wanted, take that to my yard and then see what happened. I still can't really drive so my Mom was going to have to take me to work the next day.

Wednesday morning we were preparing to go and I tried to get a hold of a foreman to make sure everything was for real. After leaving a few messages I had given up on trying to reach them. Then I struggled with my parents dial-up 24.0-26.4kbs internet to try and get the aforementioned Functional Abilities form to bring with us. While I was online God worked in a very tangible way. He got the acting foreman, George to call me and leave a message.

After a very affirming call to him things became much clearer. He agreed that still being dizzy, running a fever and super tired I was still unfit to return to work. He told me to go and see a doctor and get back in touch with him. He also said that he would lean on the people downtown for me. (yeah George!) That lead me to believe that the trip to the hammer might be premature. We called my parents General Physician (formerly mine) to see if he could take a look at me and fill in the form. His receptionist told me to come in in one hour! I called the lady downtown who had put so much pressure on me. She had just got off the phone with George. (yeah George!) She agreed that I likely wasn't ready to come back to work, but still needed to see the doctor. She faced the F.A form to the doctor's office for me.

I went to the doctor in Brighton. He said that I had been entirely over medicated and wondered at the functional abilities of a doctor who would put a girl being sedated by an antihistamine on a stronger more sedating antihistamine. He continued and told me that I was having a delayed hypersensitive reaction to the sting. I would make a full recovery but with such a short time being left in my contract, wouldn't feel comfortable sending me back to work in that time. So he wrote me off for the rest of my term. My term was to end on this coming Tuesday.

Now I am able to recover without stress. my parents brought me back today in order to avoid the bulk of holiday traffic. I am still dizzy, very tired, and running a slight fever. But I do know what is going on, and that I am being taken care of by my heavenly Father and my friends and here on earth.

I'll be at the house sleeping and cleaning this weekend if you want to stop in (maybe call first).

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Home for a rest

Hey, just lettin all yalls know that my parents are on their way to pick me up and bring me to brighton to love me up until i get alllll better. so if you need to get a hold of me you'll have to do it there (i'll have my cell with me).

Oil Prices

Is it just me or will just about anything raise oil prices....this just in, a month with an R in it is following August, oil prices to rise....George Bush cut his toe nails, oil prices to sky rocket.....the rain in Spain falls mainly in the plains, oil prices to increase accordingly.....your mom, the price of oil expected to jum.....


Friday, August 26, 2005


the blood work came back fine.

i really need to get off these drugs...i almost typed: the blood work cabameke know, cabameke, that almost combination of came and back....eep.

The Up and Up

I think the new pills are slowly helping. I am feeling less and less dizzy all the time. The morning and early afternoon are still a little woozy. The pills make me really, really sleepy which could be a good thing for the healing. They do make me a bit of a social write-off :( ..or a lot more fun than i usually am due to being a space cadet, youi can decide.

I'll let yoi know if the blood work tells us anything.

Thanks for the prayers.

Only infidels drink Coke

Check this out.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

progression my personal champion/amublance Dan took me to the Locke Street Clinic today where the Dr (who reminded us uf the hypnotist from Office Space) thought i might be having a reaction to the Benadryl still and the remenants of the sting/bite. he's got me on some other medication in some potent dose...the side effects made me laugh though; dryness of the mouth, headaches, diarrhea (which thank you bowels, i am also now suffering from....fist shaking), drowsiness or diziness, and unusal tiredness.... ha ha ha. Oh good, i'll feel so much different if i'm having side effects from this drug... there was also some blood work taken and the results will be back soon...

my family is stopping by today as they drop John off to go back to will be nice to get some family hugging.

well, my adventures have tired me out and i have some soup waiting for me...

Tuesday, August 23, 2005


Yesterday after I posted I kept feeling worse. It was kind of scary. I called the nice people at telehealth and they didn't know what was going on and suggested that I see a dr much sooner rather than later. I agreed and the rock of a man, Dan Postma gave me a lift and 5 hours of company at McMaster ER. I spent just over 6 hours there and came away with this: they didn't really know why I was woozy, or running a 5 day fever. They thought maybe the benadryl that I was taking to combat the effects of the sting was the cause of all the fuzz in my head. so i am off of it, they say it will take 24 hours to exit my system. And the fever?... the dr wondered if it was possible that i contracted a virus at the same time that i got stung. I told her anything was possible. so yeah...

in conclusion i am still alive, last night i felt the most human that i have since last thursday morning, but i'm still pretty out of it and will be spending today (tuesday in bed too)

thanks for your prayers, your rides to the hospita and ER support (Dan), your rides to Shoppers and your standard driving skills (gayle), your snuggles and y our tortellini (Mira)

Monday, August 22, 2005

An update (before I have to go lay down)

Ok, so my little saga continues I guess. This sting thing is still affecting me. I have spent the past4 days in bed being quiet and still. Not usually and easy thing for me to do, but I can't say that I really feel like doing much else.

The tri coloured welt is now just looking like a wacky bruise. The fever has elavated and left me a little more loopy than I was before. I think I might be amusing/freaking out my roommates. I keep doing stuff that I have no recollection of doing and then when they ask me about it I get mad at them. Oh dear. Its kind of trippy.

So other than sore elbows and armpits and a wonky head I think i'm doing ok. Remind me not to get stung again. Five days in bed is not my idea of fun.

Ben and Mylana's Naked Wedding?

These two ladies were sitting two pews infront of me at Ben and Mylana's wedding.

I dunno, maybe they were excercising stewardship in their fashion budget...?

(photo taken by the lovely Mrs. Amy Hoogstad - who had a better view)

Saturday, August 20, 2005

Fun Times

Once upon a time (aka Thursday morning) I was working at the greenhouse steaking chrysanthemums, minding my own business when all of a sudden something (I still don't know what) bit or stung me on the lower bicept/upper tricept area of my left arm. I yelped in pain and fruitlessly looked around for the culprit.

When I looked at my arm I already had a raised bump and a growing red area around the wound. I didn't pay that much attention to it until about half an hour later when I started to feel really woozy, it became harder to swallow, my chest, neck and face turned red, my chest tightened up, my head started to hurt, I got really tired and I was itchy head to toe. So I layed down for a while at the onset of those things.

One of the ladies from the office came over to the house and saw me laying on a bench and took a look at me and expressed some concern. When she went back over to the office she told another lady. They, both being Mothers, decided I really needed to go to the hospital. I'm not one to argue with two Mothers and was feeling pretty shitty and out of it didn't put up a fight.

Sheila drove me to a local urgent care ward where I received a shot of Benadryl in the hip for the reaction and received the instructions to take it easy while my body fights over the next 24-48 hours.

Currently I still feel woozy, itchy from head to toe, if I don't keep taking the Benadryl my body temp goes up and the headache and tight chest return. The shot made the welt on my arm go away but as the shot wore off the welt came back. Right now it is a tri coloured 11cmx12cm oval on my bicept. Its really, really itchy. I've been a good girl and icing it.

I have been too drowsy (the pills) and out of it (the reaction) to really do much. I can't really concentrate on reading so I have been colouring and watching episodes of Air Farce off of their website (see previous post). Feel free to give me a call or drop by for a few minutes (though you'll have to excuse the mess of our house and the drowsiness of me), I've spent the past two days humanless and am getting a little lonely.

Tah, tah.

Thursday, August 18, 2005


I was reading one of Dan's latest posts this morning and felt his pain about the lack of Air Farce Canadian education. So I thought that I would bring to the blog world's attention that you can watch seasons 7-12 of Air Farce online at their website. If you aren't Canadian and wonder about what makes us tick, then you might want to take this in. Or, if you are a Canuk and you want a good laugh, sit down and start clickin'!


Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Monday, August 15, 2005


I want one.

(i wanna little black boy kittie that i would name Moses)

Friday, August 12, 2005

Hamilton In Desperate Need of Lives

S.O.S! The City of Hamilton needs a large shipment of lives. These will be distributed to the citizens of Hamilton so that they have a life. This need became obvious to me today. Canadian Idol winner Kalan Porter is singing right now at the WestJet Festival of Friends in Gage Park. On my way into the greenhouse from the parking lot all three of us workers got stopped and asked if we were there to line up to see Kalan. It was 6am. I thought it was ridiculous. Then I looked into the park. There were people already sitting in front of the bandshell. Apparently some had slept overnight. As the day went on, despite rain and wind, more and more misguided souls showed up to get themselves a seat close to Canada's favourite boy singer who looks like a 12 year old girl.

I can only hope they have all gone home by the time I want to see the Wailin' Jennys and The Nylons on Sunday night.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Professor Idol

I would like to see the nominees for this:

TVO unveils 'Professor Idol'Last Updated Wed, 10 Aug 2005 16:59:58 EDTCBC Arts

First there was the singing contest Pop Idol. Then came spinoffs like Canadian Idol and American Idol. Now comes a series that could very well have been dubbed Professor Idol.

The aim of the show, which will air on TVOntario, is not to find the best singer; instead, the producers are scouring Ontario to find the best teacher in the province's post-secondary school system.

Titled the Best Lecturer Competition, it aims to find instructors "who explain their thesis clearly, are passionate about their topic, and share their views with conviction and flair."

"In other words, we are looking for the most engaging, entertaining, and enlightening lecturer in Ontario," said Wodek Szemberg, a producer with TVO.

The channel, a public broadcaster with a mandate to produce educational programming, announced the names of the 30 semifinalists on Wednesday.

They were chosen by a panel made up of Literary Review of Canada editor Bronwyn Drainie, National Post columnist Robert Fulford and playwright Andrew Moodie.

Among the finalists are Tim Blackmore (a Faculty of Information and Media Studies professor who teaches at the University of Western Ontario in London, Ont.), Claudio Colaguori (a sociology professor at the University of Toronto), Tony Dimnik (a business professor at Queen's University in Kingston, Ont.), and Susan Haslip (a business professor who teaches at Algonquin College in Ottawa).

The list will be winnowed down by the judges in September to 10 names. The finalists will then deliver lectures on TVO's Big Ideas series, and viewers will have the opportunity to vote for the winner by phone or e-mail.

The grand prize is a $10,000 grant, which will go to the winning professor's school.
In recent years TVO has begun forming partnerships between specific programs and educational institutions. Saturday Night at the Movies, for instance, provides interviews for film courses at York University. Studio 2, the nightly current-affairs broadcast, is likewise linked with journalism courses at a number of schools.

Journalist Irshad Manji hosts Big Ideas, which will air the Best Lecturer Competition this fall.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005


Highlights from this past weekend include:
  • Katrina's hospitality
  • the warm, warm water
  • the frisbee
  • the raft thingy
  • very cool people
  • very warm weather
  • burning flesh
  • amazing food!
  • church on the beach
  • skinny dipping
  • time to relax
  • "...LMoe...tickle me!"
  • "Scotch, scotch, scotch, scotch...I love scotch"

Friday, August 05, 2005


This is possibly one of the greatest things I have put in my mouth!

(except not blueberry, though it is good, i mean french vanilla, they didn't have a pic of that flavour)

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Today was so hot..

I wear the same 2 pair of jeans to work everyday (one pair at a time). So they have been washed quite a bit.

Today was so hot and I was sweating so much that my thighs were turning blue from my jeans and the sweat.

Things I liked about the weekend

  • not working
  • the (somewhat) open road
  • seeing long lost friends like Naomi, Matt, the Vant Erves, Kristel, Amy, Tep, Lorraine, Ruth, Sarah, Joyce-Ann, Alaina, Jaime, Lauren, Kim and Jason and their kids...
  • seeing 3 couples start their new lives together
  • eating well
  • seeing my friends look pretty
  • seeing my family
  • spending quality time with Mom, Dad, John and Grandma & Grandpa Stewart at Presque'ile
  • watching Hunt for Red October
  • making Abby squeal
  • getting board shorts
  • watching baseball with Dad and John
  • farting, a lot
  • a real sermon at my parents' church
  • and sooo many more

Tuesday, July 26, 2005


If you're anything like me and have a family anything like mine, you have had to help your Mother through some fashion changes. For some mothers the fashion world charges on and their wardrobe remains tried and true and never changing. They have those worn out slacks, those awful shoes and that hideous blouse. All of these items were purchased before you turned 10 (back when things were made to last). She loves them and wears them to places you go. You wish she wouldn't.

The 80s were a terrible, rotten, no good, very bad decade for fashion. Argue with me if you will, but in your heart of hearts you know I'm right. (you also know it was a black hole time for music too) Anyway, many a mother had to be dragged out of the 80s fashion regime kicking and screaming. Sons and daughters had to work slowly or in mass evacuations of these crimes against humanity that were (or still are) inhabiting the closets of many a matriarch. For some it started with getting rid of the uber pointy stiletto heels, for others it was pants that don't have an extreme taper. Oh I had to slowly eradicate you from my Mother's life. Trust me, I am very aware of how many terrible 60s and 70s memories flares and bell bottoms dig up. But I am not asking for a complete boycott of seams, just a lack of ankle molesting by pants.

It has taken most of us the entire rest of the 90s and the excuse of a new millennium to bring our mothers into the current time. We have got them to be comfortable with un-tucking things, with a nice round toe with a modest heal, with knowing that teal eyeshadow and blue mascara will always be wrong, to see that bangs don't have to be the biggest part of the head and that one brooch is sufficient for an outfit. And then what happens...

The 80s come back into style. Good Lord! If that isn't a sign that the end times are near, I don't know what is! Now we daughters look like idiots. Our mothers' entire 80s wardrobe is being snatched up at Value Village quicker than Michael Jackson turned white.

What is a good daughter supposed to do now? Do we wait it out and hope things turn for the better? Do we admit defeat and buy our own big, baggy dress (complete with leather boots)?
Or, do you hope that your fashion blind Mother manages to continue with her head-in-the-sand fashion trends and misses the neo-80s all together? Personally, I'm praying for that one

Thursday, July 21, 2005

We'll miss you friend...

James Doohan, best known for playing Montgomery "Scotty" Scott on the original Star Trek series, has died at the age of 85.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005


Sometimes I'm concerned that we have 150 ways to make our eyelashes thicker and fuller yet people around the world are still going hungry.

Friday, July 15, 2005

City of Hamilton the Employer with Heart: part 2

Last night one of our foremen died of a heart attack. They told us this around lunch but HR wouldn't let us take the rest of the day off to deal with our grief. Man of man.

Thursday, July 14, 2005


Olga's back!

Neutralizing My Beauty

I, like many other women this summer, am reading the John and Stasi Eldredge book Captivating. It was a birthday present from my esteemed friend Melissa Kuipers. She was reading and thought of me. So in some defense of my usual self, I haven't become a trendy Christian over night.

Anyway...I've been reading the book and quite enjoying it. There have been many things said that I both agree with and identify with. My eyes have been opened in many respects. Last night I was reading in chapter entitled Wounded. It talks about femininity in the context of relationships as a child and young woman and how that effects us now. There was one sentence that really caught me and has been taking up brain space all day.

The particular sentence comes in the context of things women do to hide their beauty. This is what spoke to me: "Or we neutralize our beauty by putting up protective, defensive walls that warn others to keep their distance." As a younger woman I had lots and lots and lots of walls to protect myself. And over time God has worked with me break many of them down. It has been a hard but refining process. It was/is also a necessary process. But I had never thought about the defensive walls as being something I did to sabotage myself and my beauty. I thought they were purely for protection.

I have been mulling recently over relationships and my desire to be in one with a man. God and I talk about this frequently and we have worked a few things out and I have been trying to adhere to His timeline, not mine. Though in the past month a couple of my close/long time single friends have started to date. I also see people much more broken than myself, people more eccentric, and more out there than I who have significant others. Why don't I?

Then it struck me. Am I putting up walls to neutralize the entirety of my God given beauty and sending signals that I want to be left alone? I know that I am a relatively independent person, but am I really telling guys to leave me alone? I've been trying to come up with some answers. I haven't actually asked any males yet, but females comment that I am intimidating. Am I intimidating someone that God has set aside for me? Am I intimidating myself?

I don't have those answers right now.

City of Hamilton: an employer with a heart

I just wanted to let you know that due to the extreme heat warnings for the rest of the week the City of Hamilton has graciously informed its outdoor employees that they may work for four hours and then go home...unpaid.

Its like Christmas come early I tell ya! They just keep on giving. I am so thrilled about the option of coming home early and not getting paid for it. Or who says I have to go home, I could go to the mall and not get paid for it, or do cartwheels in the park, or perform surgery on homeless many options and alllll provided for me by the City of Hamilton.

Thank you hammy town, you've just made my Christmas card list!

Monday, July 11, 2005


I'd like to draw your attention to my big, white thigh and ask you to notice the bruise. Now let me tell you that the workplace is a dangerous place. Ouch!

Saturday, July 09, 2005

Spiritual Gifts

Tonight in conversation Jo revealed one of her spiritual gifts. As a pentecostal these take on more meaning and passion to J'oh than they would to your average Calvinist.

So let us encourage Jo in her developing of her gift of sacking.

Monday, July 04, 2005

I love you Babel Fish

Read the previous post....(seriously, do it!)

Now read this (this is the dutch to english and back translation of that post):

Happy OJEC of the anniversary! (Best OJEC of July 5), I feared that I would forget something tomorrow, post so that today I it posts. I also next haiku want post: Johanna are here beer empty, anniversary also dancing have been possible flesh, mmm. and because I have no picture of you I drew in painting (blindly)... it has even your weapon support on! Love your roomie shortly to be, Lstew

Happy Birthday Jo! (July 5)

Dear Jo,

I feared that I would forget to post something tomorrow, so I am posting it today. I would also like to post the following haiku:

Johanna is here
Beer is vacant, dancing too
Birthday canned meat, mmm.

And because I don't have a picture of you I drew one in paint (shutter)... it even has your arm brace on it!

Love your soon to be roomie,

the Lstew

Sunday, July 03, 2005

Check it out...Check it out...Check it out...Check it out...Check it out...Check it out...


So guess what? Yesterday Tim and Marleah got married. It was pretty. I got a v-necked sun burn.

The ceremony took place on the meticulously groomed grounds of the Moelker home just outside of Chatham. The weather was sunny and beautiful. The bride's maids where wearing two piece burgundy dresses with halter style tops and floor length skirts. The groom's men where wearing black suits with silver vests and ties, with the groom wearing the same thing. The bride was wearing a beautiful white dress adorned with flower bead work and held up with elegant spaghetti cris cross straps. There was beautiful music provided by a local artist/friend of the family.

The reception was held at the Kent Belgian Dutch Canadian Club, which was decorated in a very festive manner. The guest feasted on chicken, beef, vegetables, two kinds of potatoes, rolls, salads and tasty desserts. There was a brief program containing the usual touching speeches, a powerpoint presentation and some music. Then the dance and cake cutting followed

A good time was had by all.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Saturday, June 18, 2005

Special Event!

The Greenhaus in cooperation with the Booty Barn, present:

Laura's 24th Birthday Party!!
A feast has been planned, or rather a trip to Tucker's Marketplace in Burlington.
  • When?: Saturday June 25th, 2005
  • What time?: TBA (but likely around 7pm)
  • RSVP by Wednesday June 22nd, 2005 so that reservations can be made.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Greenhaus Gals...

Left to right: Katie, Maria, Laura

Same, but sexier.

Uh, remember the head sponge...well maybe this is night of the living head sponge, or revenge of the head sponge....either way; BEWARE!

Saturday, June 11, 2005

Just For Kicks (Only for shovels.)

I wrote "Christ loves me so much that sometimes it blows my mind." in Babel Fish, translated it into Dutch and then back into English and got "Christus loves this way much me that it sometimes my opinion blows."

Amen, amen.

(My Father wears pants comes out as My Father carries trousers.)

Wednesday, June 08, 2005


This could be why some people say that Christians are hypocrites.

Monday, June 06, 2005

A little advice

If you're having issues with the heat I would like to say a few things to you. One, suck it up its only May. Two, don't wear layers they are not your friend. Three, talcum/baby powder is your friend use it in places that stick. And four, cotton is also your friend it breathes.

That is about all I have to say after living here my whole life and experiencing parts of Asia and Africa in the summer months.

Drink lots of water,

I'm rooting for ya.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Soiled Myself.

Every day i seem to come home with a lot of dirt in my nose. So if you happen to be potting anything please come and pick my nose.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

I've never done that before...

Today I helped unload three Shuringa transport trucks full of plant material. One of the grasses gave us girls a rash. :( But we had a banana split party at afternoon break :)

Saturday, May 21, 2005


So this post will likely have me labeled as an ignorant idiot for the rest of my life but i was wondering if anybody else thought that Belinda could end up being the next Kim Campbell? She is a female anxious and craving leadership opportunities; and if the Gomery inquiry keeps getting worse the Liberals would have a very willing sacrificical lamb. I dunno, it was just a thought.

ice cream

although there are many great things to add to ice cream, my current favourite is frozen gummi bears. mmm.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Another reason I love my job...

Today I spent most of my day stuffing thyme into a moss filled wire cage dolphin. You can see these dolphins on display in front of city hall later next week.

Sunday, May 15, 2005

The Package Is Delivered

John and I got safely back to the farm this morning. John was very satisfied with his second Brassie's nachos experience and a Tim Horton's breakfast. He got very excited to see metric signs and a lack of billboards. I got very excited to spend time with him. In honour of having both of her kids home my Mom has got a 20lbs turkey cooking for supper. Oh baby!

Thursday, May 12, 2005


Ok, i'm picking my brother up from the Buffalo airport at 6:30/7 on Saturday and then we're coming back to Ancaster for Nachos at Brassie's. You are welcome to join us. I'll change my online name to reflect our return to the area and our departure for Brassie's.

Monday, May 09, 2005


Remember how Gayle's blog almost got taken over by Olga the smoking kitty. Well Olga just emailed me and told me that she started her own new blog. I invite you to check it out.

Sunday, May 08, 2005

Sometimes my brother kills me...

I would like to share with you a few events in the life of my only brother, the one and only John Stewart.

Last week John and his buddies went to a party. When the party was ending most of the boys piled into cars to get back to campus. These boys had also been drinking. John and his good friend Matt Proctor decided that was a bad idea. So they grabbed a couple of beers and started walking back to school. They were drinking these beers and walking down the street, and these were not the first beers the boys had consumed that evening. Along come the cops and bust my bro for public drinking type things. But poor Matt is also under the age of 21, so he also got possession of alcohol as a minor. The two boys have to go to court this week to receive their fines. Knowing John they'll end up apologizing to him and giving him a steak dinner.

Then yesterday John was playing in a tape ball tournament. Its an indoor baseball tourney and the ball is a wiffle ball that they have put tape on in order to let it fly better. Johnny was trying to stretch a double into a triple when he slid into third base and knocked himself unconscious by hitting the front of his head (almost between the eyes) on the third baseman's knee. He was out for less than a minute. He friends helped him up and he said he was fine and went to sit on the bench. While sitting on the bench he lost the ability to talk or feel his legs. He said the only thing he could do was pet his cheek with the back side of his hand. Some people realized that everything was not cool and at the urging of a coach he went to the hospital. He ended up staying there overnight because he was having lots of trouble remembering our parents' names, what day it was, what he ate, what had happened, etc. That and he passed out in the middle of his CT scan.

They gave him the last bed left, which they apologized for as it was in the same room with Harold. Harold is an old man who had smoked all his life and was on some insane ventilator machine and snored like a bear. He also apparently has a seizure every 45 minutes or so. I told John that was like pretty good for him and his concussion. By the morning he was pretty tired from the nurses and Harold waking him up. They had to kick him out because they needed the bed. So they told him he could have fractured his skull, but they can't really tell. So if he is bleeding in the brain, or if brain fluid is leaking he'll feel pretty crumby and then be dead in a few days. So if he feels crumby he should go back to the hospital. They also stressed that he should stay away from strenuous activity. As a result of that he no longer has to write his exams.

Oh Johnny!

Saturday, May 07, 2005

Not dead, just sleepy

So I figured out that my body is not a big fan of my completely changing time zones. To clarify: the past three years I have been mostly nocturnal. My body has gotten used to going to bed at 5:30am or later. Now it is trying to get used to getting up at around 5:30am. It feels like I have jet lag. I know there are a lot of us that are feeling this way. Gah.

The new job is a little different than I thought. It turns out that I have been placed in the city greenhouses at Gage Park. At first I wasn't too thrilled with that but there are a lot of good things about it. My supervisor or foreman is a Christian. His name is Randy and he's a cool guy. He's the kind of boss that is out there doing the work with you. So he is very humane about breaks and heat and stuff. He said that we'll get the freezer packed with popsicles and ice cream bars for when it gets really hot out. We're going to do potluck lunches with the greenhouse staff and the Gage Park staff. I will be working Tuesday through Saturday 7am to 3pm; so that messes up regular weekends but so far the work as been anything but hard. It is rather slow in the greenhouse right now.

The girls I work with are cool. They are Maria, Katie and Ashley. I thought you should know their names incase I reference them later. They are all from Hamilton. Actually I have been kind of surprised to see how many people are from Hamilton and home for the summer. Actually I haven't met anyone who is like me and staying here for the summer. Kind of interesting.

The house (or Booty Barn) is coming along. Gayle and Mira have been working like dogs so there hasn't been much time for unpacking. I've had a little more free time but have avoided cleaning my room so that they don't feel bad. Oh, I should also tell you that we three have pimp names and in the context of the Booty Barn should be referred to by these names. Mira's is Reverend Doctor M. Flex. Gayle's is Macktastic G. Wicked and mine is Vicious D. L. Slim. I'm quite sure there will be t-shirts by the end of the summer.

That is my little update. Give me a call if yer bored.

Saturday, April 30, 2005


Just thought I'd say hy. I went home for a couple days to pretend to relax. I'm back now. Orientation for my summer job is all day Sunday and then I actually start on Monday. I'll be working 7-3 Mon-Fri. Lets hang out, call me.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

What I'm Doing Now...

First time...

After tonight I will be done two consecutive years of school. This is the first time since highschool that I've completed two consecutive years. This month also marks two years drug free.

Jesus is cool.

Monday, April 18, 2005

My Brother

This is a picture of my brother at an outdoor party last night. Yes he is sitting on a couch that is on fire.

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Sometimes School Makes Me Feel Like...

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(also introducting my cousin Pete's new daughter, Kate.)

The Demon Soliloquies From Last Night's CITB

Things have changed since the past. The powers of faith have driven us underground but we still thrive… So...another Sunday, another battleground. It's almost too easy. It is brilliant having them enter like cows to the slaughter instead of warriors for battle. The social atmosphere when entering is perfect. So loud, distracting very difficult for any serious meditation and therefore revelation. “Wake up, O Sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.” That’s exactly what we don’t want. Seeing their eyes closed, and their hands raised to Him in true worship. We want it to be purely social. To loose the actual reason why they’re going. We can distract them. Make them unaware of his presence, and take them from him. The faith is organized and powerful but they have not yet won. We still have a chance. They can still be corrupted by many unseen forces. We have powers beyond any human understanding; working in the shadows has given us this. There are many things in their lives that we can distract them from Him with. They think that going into a 24/7-prayer room will help them get closer to Him, but they forget that they can do that in their own dorm rooms. They are focusing more on the room rather than the prayer itself. We can even distract them by letting them focus on the art in the room, or by others writing on the walls. Making them focus on people in the audience will help us. They think they’re coming here for the service, but really it’s a big show…they’re focusing more on vanity. For what reason? To worship Him? I don’t think so. And that’s exactly where we can hit them. Stress and distraction are wonderful tools. We have to make sure that the speaker doesn’t try to convict them. We have to make them focus on mistakes and the speaker’s approach to the message. Make them hear it the same way every time, keep it stale, if they believe it to be stale then they won't hear His voice calling out to renew them. We cannot let them focus on Him. It is time….

You even say it in your precious book "They may be ever seeing, but never perceiving and ever hearing but never understanding." Otherwise they may turn and be forgiven. This is our tool. They think because they attend the Church, your house, whatever denomination, they are safe but they couldn't be more wrong. Just because they go to church, does not mean they are saved. They don’t realize that true Christianity is about living out a personal relationship with you and they cannot possibly see how large a role the church plays in the great battle between hell and heaven. As long as we prevent them from ever meeting with you while they go to their home churches or CITB, then we have won. We will make them talk about the poor choice of songs, the mistakes made in the sermon; if we divert their attention to their boyfriends or girlfriends or even let them fantasize about being with someone else. For the noble ones, we can let them worry about worship wars or theological soundness of sermons. We will make them forget your power and have them forget you listen to cries of even the weakest of those stupid sheep. We will make them afraid of silence-the place they can truly meet you, and have them drown out your voice by music or by the voices of their friends. Anything that will keep their focus off you, Carpenter, and they become ours. No – not even in the church or in “Christian” circles are they safe. The funniest part of this is I don't care about them at all, they mean nothing to me. Where you love them, you died for them. I couldn't care less. This is nothing to me. Nothing more than a game of chess. Check - it's your move and it looks like I'm winning.

Saturday, April 16, 2005


So I've decided with every overdue and not yet due project I move on to I get to post a picture that represents it in some way. Here is the current project...

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ps, are those water balloons or condoms in the tree?

Friday, April 15, 2005


So one of the girls at work told me about something that piqued my interest. She said that if you can get 10 people into a Boston Pizza you can do an all-you-can-eat pizza and pop kinda thing. She said it is 12.99$/person and there are something like 5 or 6 different kinds of pizza that they bring you (one of which is veggie). They also just bring lots of pitchers of whatever kind of pop/ice tea you want. This seems like a pretty good deal/idea to me. And I feel that there will be enough of us around this summer to make it worthwhile (if not this summer then after a choir event next year! Or on tour - do they have BP's in BC?). The one sort of catch is that you can't get any pizza you can't finish boxed up. But my pita co-worker told me that they came prepared with tupperware.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Another new job

I've decided that I'm not going back to Redeemer in the fall. Instead i'm going to illustrate flash cartoons and sell merch.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

A load off

I would just like to say thank you for prayer. Today I was hired by the City of Hamilton to plant and maintain flowers in the middle of the road (and maybe some parks). AND I have a third roommate who is both lovely and wonderful. Not that first roommate is not full of grace and beauty. I have a feeling there will be a lot of non-sexual crushing going on.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Laura Loves Katy

This is my Katy blog post. And what better way to honour Katy than with an acrostic poem?

Yellow hair

On the ball
Really awesome
One of a kind

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Remember when I said that my brother was playing at the metrodome? Well here he is in right field catching a fly ball...

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That Rapskalion has been holding out on us!

I made an addition to my side bar because.....

Tenor John has a blog.

Monday, April 11, 2005

MS Supercities Walk

Hey money giving, MS hating friends....

I (and many other Pita Pit employees) are doing the Supercities Walk this Sunday morning. Please sponsor me. I'll have my sheet with me this week. Stop me in the hall and shove money in my hand! Do it!

Sunday, April 10, 2005


Lisa said this to me:

"I've got another game if you'll sit on my lap."


Friday, April 08, 2005

The A-Line and Redemption

Women with hips have recently been ousted from fashion queendom. Hips are a very useful things. They can be used for making the birthing process easier, hip-checking, holding up pants, looking shapely, hula-hoops and many more. Why then are pants being made that don't allow for these meccas of efficiency? Why then are girls who resemble praying mantises being lauded as pinnicles of femininity.

Fortunatly those of us with hips have a saviour: the A-Line. The A-Line is gentle, the A-Line is kind. It is all forgiving and ever complimenting. Below the knee it blesses. Above the knee it caresses. The A-Line dress and the A-Line skirt have long been the salvation and kinsman redeemer of hippy girls world wide.

Lets take a minute and give thanks....

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Bathtub Adverts

Have you ever taken a look at bathtub advertisements? There is a distinct difference between what people are doing in the bath which seems to depend on their age. Take a look: if they are under 50 then they are likely relaxing, eyes closed and getting away from the stress of life (or there is someone else in the bath with them). If they are over 50 then they are in some kind of modified for mobility bathtub and it looks like they are having the best time of their lives while taking a bath. I guess if old people were looking relaxed in the bathtub people might think they were dead.

Just something I noticed.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Headlines from Lalalaura Land...

  • Study reveals McDonald's fries induce weight loss and enhance beauty
  • Redeemer University College deems paper writing to be a colossal waste of time
  • Use of money abolished world wide, hugs the new currency
  • Jesus is coming back tonight
  • Pizza said to be a cancer fighting agent
  • Ontario government makes University a priority by paying for students to attend
  • Fat is the new thin
  • High heels are found to cause brain damage
  • God commands skinny girls to be slaves for everyone over 150lbs
  • Cats no longer a problem for allergy sufferers
  • Vanilla Coke discovered to be a gigantic aphrodisiac
  • Girls who sing are great lovers

You there! Lover her up...

Hey, Melissa's birthday is on Saturday. Please send her lots of cyber love.

Sunday, April 03, 2005

My April 3rd Winter Story

As Lisa, Marleah, Tim and I woke up in our humble one room log cabin this morning we knew we were in for a day of unpleasant precipitation. Tim had slept over at our place because his lead sled dog, Sasha died yesterday of liver failure. Marleah had to go and work at the nunnery and didn't want to disappoint them by letting the weather stop her from coming. So Tim acted as lead sled dog and Marleah mushed him all the way to Woodstock. He came back on his own.

Lisa and I knew there was no way that 10 feet of snow was going to keep us away from First CRC. We started by rubbing our naked bodies with whale blubber (for warmth and slip) then put on two layers of long johns, seal skin pants and fox skin coats. On our feet we put mukluks made of black bear and then strapped on our beaver skin snow shoes. The minute we stepped outside PETA was there. They threw red paint on us, called us disgusting neanderthals and set the log cabin on fire.

After we put the fire out (with the help of mother nature's little friend precipitation) we went back inside to get dressed again as the PETA people had burnt our clothes off. We were glad for the layer of whale blubber that saved us from third degree burns.

We set back out wearing essentially the same outfits but made of synthetic materials. The journey was long and treacherous. We were joined by a couple of Redeemer students whose lives were lost along the way. As Lisa and I were running low on supplies, we prayed and God gave us permission to eat their frozen flesh. Finally we arrived at church just in time for the service to start.

It was a glorious service filled with music from our harpsichord and cat gut fiddles. The cat gut fiddles were torched when the PETA people showed up. Who knew they were Christian? They must have tailed Lisa and I down the escarpment. We were all looking forward to a challenging and life altering sermon by Reverend Doctor M. Goheen. As he got up to deliver the message a polar bear got up too. They had words and then broke into fisticuffs. It was like watching Jacob wrestle God. The fight ended with the bear biting off Goheen's left leg from just above the knee. He (the bear) then continued his way to the front of the church were he delivered a convicting sermon on fish in the Bible.

At the end of the service the Voortman Cookies Acrobatic Snowmobile Exhibition Team came and gave everyone rides home, a box of cookies and a pat on the bum. A good time was had by all. Lisa and were happy to get back to our cozy log home to take some meat out of our smoke house and make soup and bread all day long.

The End.

Saturday, April 02, 2005


I keep meaning to type pericope (An extract or selection from a book, especially a reading from a Scripture that forms part of a church service.).

Instead I type periscope (Any of various tubular optical instruments that contain reflecting elements, such as mirrors and prisms, to permit observation from a position displaced from a direct line of sight.)

There is huge difference, especially when writing for a Wolters paper. I just don't think I can work a periscope into the fall narrative

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

One More Roommate..

Ok seriously there has to be one of you lovely readers who wants and can live with me next year. C'mon you know you want to. So just let me know ASAP so we can hook it up. I seriously don't want to move again (it would be the 7th time in 4 years). I'm getting selfish here, having one more roommate would make my life and Jo's life a lot easier! Do it!

Monday, March 28, 2005

Being Friends With Me...

I am a strange one. I am often convinced that my brain doesn't work the same way that everybody else's does. Or maybe it is my lack of adherence to social boundaries. Who knows? I would like to say thanks to those of you in blog land who are friends with me. I know it isn't easy. I'm so up and down and needy and then independent. Fricking me. How do you do it? Really, I'm not a big fan of myself and I struggle to understand what you guys see in me. I understand the need for a good laugh now and then, but there are lots of people who can do that for you. Why not dispense of me? I'm demanding, loud, boorish, obnoxious, consistently inconsistent, moody, starting but not finishing, a leech, unskilled, lazy, ignorant, greasy, overweight, unhealthy, a drama queen, a crisis junky...i could go on. So thanks for showing that Christian principle of loving those who are hard to love.