Friday, November 27, 2009

Things That Make You Go Awwh

Next in our all good gifts series: the local nail salon/joint/place.

Let's talk about pedicures here people. I don't care if you're man, woman, or transgendered, if ya gots feet then they would probably love some lovin. Many commercial districts have these little nail places in strip malls. You know the ones, in those smaller shopping plazas with the pizza place, the convenience store and some other place to get food or clothing or both. And they have these nail places. The ones I generally notice have some sort of Asian related name. Ok, now you know where to look.

Here is why you should be looking - these places often have great deals. I'm talking 10-15$ less than your average upscale marble encrusted, mineral water giving spas (not that spas aren't great and very delightful to go to, i'm just sayin'). Now, I'm not sure if you've ever had a pedicure. But they are fairly fantastic. You don't have to get your nails painted, which doesn't matter, 'cause really, nail painting is just the sprinkles that are on the icing which is on the cake. You get a good soaking that's all relaxing and nice, a bit of a foot/calf massage. Then they get rid of all the masses of dead skin on your feet. You know all those places where your feet are peeling (especially now that we're in the transition from sandals to socks). They get all the grime and sin out from your toe nails (don't worry, there is no judging) and then they chop dem nails up nice. Chop, as in not rip (i know a significant number of the male population that rips, hecks, i know chicks who do it too, hecks, sometimes i do it). So then your feet are just nice. They're clean, they're not so rough and your nails are all clean and proper. Mmmm. Proper.

It's easy to make these outings a pairs things - your Mom and your sister, your Mom and your Dad, you and a friend, you and your lover, you and your mail carrier, you and your cousin's dog trimmer, whoever. If you grab coffees on the way, the whole experience could be done for 50$ and it lasts a decent amount of time. So let's recap - you can have an hour of face time with someone you like (or someone with bad feet that you just have to help), or you can have an hour with someone out of the house, you get clean, smooth, nice nailed toes, and you can cross another person off your gift list. It's win-win people.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

It Was Not Eggs Benny, But It Was A Way To Start The Day

I thought I'd share with you how my day started on Monday. It is a tale that will warm the cockles of your heart.

It is no secret that I'm not a champ at sleeping or that bouts of insomnia mess with my life. And due to a medication snafu, the insomnia is gonna roar for a week or two. Let's go to the lack of sun time between Sunday and Monday shall we? I didn't spend enough of it being asleep. But by 6:30am I was as close to soundly sleeping as I had been in a while. That was until I started hearing a car horn. The kind of pattern one uses to beckon someone from a dwelling. (How's yer cockles, getting warm yet?) One or two beckonings would have been fine, understandable, even necessary. Twenty to thirty minutes of horn beckoning between 6:30 and 7am is not ok. Not ok (eye contact, head shaking).

After 20 minutes of horning I threw open the shutters and pulled back the sash (no bedpan Dad) to see what or who on earth - or 2 doors down on my street, could be making this rage inducing racket. It was a car. Sitting there. Idling. Idling and using it's horn to urge someone to come outside. I went downstairs to get a better look and...and honking again. My coat was on and I was out the door faster than you could say, "hey, don't get the snot beat outta you!"

I approached the car from the sidewalk to see a man in reflective construction garb, sitting in his car with the window down. The following is our "dialogue". All expletives have been smudged.

Me: Excuse me, is it you that is honking?

Angry Construction Man: Yah.

Me: Could you please not.

ACM: Ok.

Me: (starts to turn and walk away)

ACM: What are you, some sort of F'ing lawyer or something, that you don't need to be at work until 9?

Me: (a wide variety of answers flashing before me to use, but Jesus standing there holding my tongue) No.

ACM: 'Cause I'm just f'ing trying to get someone somewhere on f'ing time.

Me: Ok. But maybe could you try knocking on the door instead of honking?

ACM: Maybe you could mind your f'ing business.

Me: Ok.

(at this point a very embarrassed lady-friend comes skulking out of the house and mumbles an apology and I begin to start walking away again)

ACM: (as he's about to pull away) Go F yourself.

Tender moments in morning people, I bet your cockles are real warm now.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Pop Goes the Bacon, 'Cause the Bacon Goes Pop!

Next in our series of all good gifts - from the makers of Bacon Salt and Baconnaise we now have.... Bacon Pop - microwave bacon & butter flavoured popcorn. Ok, I'll wait while you get up off the floor..... (ouch, you may want to get that head wound looked at, or park your chair further away from your desk when you're reading my blog at work)... and you're up. Good for you.

J & D have done it again - their tagline says it all - "Everything should taste like bacon." Amen my brothers, amen. While your at the website trying to decide if you want to spend 3.99$ on one box or 11.99$ on the tri-box easy gifts for 3 people or 1 hungry bacon lover, be sure to check out the rest of their delicious products for the rest of your gifting needs.

Friday, November 20, 2009


Dear Grandma,

Today would have been your 90th birthday. I'm sad that I'm not packing to head home for the weekend to celebrate with the whole family. I would have loved to give you a birthday hug.

I miss you.


Wednesday, November 18, 2009

The Gift of Gifting

I have been told that I'm a good gift giver. And though I know that blah, blah, commercialism, blah, blah taking the Christ out of Christmas, blah, blah, I still like getting people presents and I sure as heck like receiving them too. So I have decided that as the mood strikes me as we move towards December 25th, I will present some gift ideas. Take them, use them for your loved ones or even your boss. Ha ha ha snort ha.

The first in our delightful series of all good gifts involves one of my most favouritest radio stations - Jazz FM @ 91.1 on your FM dial. They are listener supported, kind of like PBS but with way less Sarah Brightman specials. They have 4 minutes per hour of advertising - 4 minutes...per hour...!! They are playing 24 hours a day, broadcast from Toronto into South Western Ontario and Upstate New York, feature just about every kind of jazz you can imagine, support local artists and up and coming students, aaaaand they have informative, witty and knowledgeable on air personalities. So much goodness.

Now, twice a year they do a fundraising kick for a couple of weeks so they can keep playing music and not ads. Also unlike PBS or TVO they have ridiculously enticing incentives to donate. There are a couple I would like to highlight as fantastic gifts.
  1. a wee donation of 750$ will get you or someone of your choo-choo-choosing a half an hour of hosting time on a Sunday evening. Yup, that's a half hour radio show - you pick the songs and I think you get to pick one of their on air personalities to co-host with you and you get a cd of your thirty minutes of fame. Wow.
  2. a Jazz Safari - I'll just copy in the info from their website about this fantasmic deal - Roundtrip economy class airfare for two (2) from Toronto to New Orleans. Departs Toronto January 15th, 2010. Departs New Orleans January 17th, 2010. Roundtrip airport/hotel transfers for two (2). 4-star hotel accommodations in The French Quarter (vicinity) based on double occupancy. Check-in January 15th, Check-out January 17th. Club admissions on The Jazz Safari on January 15th, 2009 (maximum of four club admissions per person on designated event route). A tax receipt in the amount of $2, 000 CDN.
Um, so I'm not sure why you're not on their website or calling them (1 800 811 2400) to donate and pick up some great gifts. This fundraising campaign runs until November, 22, 2009.

(N.B. didn't lstew co-op in radio? didn't she compete at musicfest canada with her high school jazz choir?)

Monday, November 16, 2009

Oskie What What?

Once upon a time on Saturday night (technically it was early, early Sunday morning), I was minding my own business being asleep. Then all of a sudden I wake up and I can't breath without coughing (I am an asthmatic recovering from a chest cold). Even just shallow nasal breathing sends me into fits of in which I can barely catch my breath. A little bit of inhaler time and some self talk reminding me that I was not dying solved that. But I slept like restless crap after that.

That kinda set up the suckiness for my morning - feeling just off and bleh and bleh and gross. So when you're feeling like that, there is really only one thing that you can fully throw yourself into - opposite action all the way.... Hamilton Ti-Cats playoff football. Duh.

Two excited fans waiting for the game to start:


My boyfriends:

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Some Real Solid Parenting

Just in case there are little ones in your life - this is a very good and highly recommended place to take care of your diapering needs in a way that feels good for your heart, your wallet and your earth.

Monday, November 09, 2009

These Are A Few Of My Favourite Things

Quatchi (whom I cuddle with every night, who is in many forms stuck to the back of my car, whose picture is on the fleece blanket adorning my bed, who is in postcard form a few times in my collection, who has been coloured by me and some crayons on many occasions) and Prince Charles (whose hand I shook last week) together. Oh. My.

(many thanks to Dad for pointing this out to me)

Friday, November 06, 2009

A Tale of a Daughter of the Empire

Once upon a this morning I was trying to have a nap after a restless night when my lovely roommate Ames come up to inform me that I had visitors. The lovely Linda and ravishing Richard where in my kitchen looking for an umbrella and possible company. They informed me that Prince Charles and Camilla were down at the HMCS Haida getting a tour and they were aiming to do some royal stalking. Obviously I wanted a piece of that action, so I threw on some outdoor protection and my United Empire Loyalist pin and took off with my friends. We got ourselves some great standing ground by the car we figured the couple would be taking. We had prime placement for watching Camilla get in the pretty black car, but Prince Charles did not get in with her.

He was shaking hands with the crowd. The crowd on our side. And, (fanfare please) he shook hands with me! Eeeee! I shook hands with Prince Charles! I'd say that was worth getting out of bed for.

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Eco Friendly

I'm waiting for a certain beloved former school of mine to go down this route...

Monday, November 02, 2009

World Class

Mukmuk eyes up the luge start at the Whistler Sliding Centre