Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Helpful Hint

If you have a cold and are loosing significant amounts of fluid out of your nose, I recommend drinking a litre or more of peppermint tea in the span of an hour. It works like a dream.

Common but funny

A pretty girl showed these too me once...most of you have probably read them sixty times, but man some of them are funny.

I believe they are metaphor, simile and analogy that have been collected from things that were actually handed in by high school students.....

Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like" Second Tall Man."

Long separated by cruel fate, the star crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr. Pepper can.

They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

The red brick wall was the color of a brick red Crayola crayon.

She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup.

From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\flw.quid-aaakk/ch@ung by mistake

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

He was as tall as a six foot three inch tree.

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

Monday, January 30, 2006

And Who Doesn't Want To Live With A Psycho?

Jo came home from class this evening and wondered if the washing machine was available.

I knew today she would need to do laundry.

I know this because last night she told Dan and I that she was running dangerously low on certain daily clothing for the lower extremities.

I knew that if I started laundry when I got home that I would not get it done before she came home. I told her these facts. I also told her that I could wait to do laundry because I didn't need underwear.

Jo told me that I could very well need to launder underwear if she took my clean underwear and burnt it. I told her that she could do that, but then she would be a psycho....

...and who doesn't want to live with a psycho?

Sunday, January 29, 2006

Today Was a Big Day For Karmyn and Ben...

Karmyn peed for 42 seconds today and she almost puked.
Ben did puke (Delicio pizza and orange juice to be specific).

(update...Ben has puked twice now. He is a nice guy and likes ginger ale when he is sick)
(update...Ben puked again at midnight - info source = Jo D)

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

I Wonder...

Do you ever wonder as you fart into a cushioned seat how many farts that cushion is already holding?

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Attn Bloggers


be careful.

The Politics, Lies, Backstabbing, Love and Joy of Housing

Start Rant -

I'd like to start with some info about who I 've lived with, where and when:
  • Dec 83 thru August 01: Bev*, Bruce* and John in 556 Carman Rd
  • Sept 01 thru April 02: Suzanne, Andrea, Odessa, Dharshika, Krista, Carolyn and Stephanie* in Dorm 18
  • May 02 thru August 02: Marie, Ruth, Dan, Deb, Ginny* and Karen in 67 Ward Ave^
  • Sept 02 thru April 03: Lara and Lindsay in the basement of 20 Kipling St
  • May 03 thru Aug 03: Bev*, Bruce* and John in 523 Carman Rd
  • Sept 03 thru April 04: Krista* in the basement of 1 Bermuda Ct
  • May 04 thru Aug 04: Marleah* in the main floor 40 Roselawn Ave
  • Sept 04 thru April 05: Marleah*` and Lisa` in the main floor 40 Roselawn Ave
  • May 05 thru Aug 05: Mira and Gayle in the main floor 40 Roselawn Ave^
  • Sept 05 thru April 06: Jo and Karmyn* in the main floor 40 Roselawn Ave
* = engaged or married while i was living with them
` = graduated and/or moved away
^ = subletting situation

Since I moved out of my parents house 5 years ago Marleah is the only person that I have lived with for 12 consecutive months. 40 Roselawn is the only the only place that I have lived for more than an 8 month period. I have moved 6 times and change roommates 9 times, and I still have 8 months of 2006 to cover yet.

I realize that due to some of the choices that I made in my life that the classic and coveted "make friends with people in first year, live together second year, RA together 3rd year and get an off campus place together 4th year" is just not available to me. I'm ok with that. But I am getting a complex. Why can't I get people to live with me? Ok, maybe I'm being a little dramatic. Housing situations have fallen apart because people have got married or graduated or I was only subletting or they were only subletting. Its not really the end of the house that makes me want to cry, drink, tear my hair out and move to Siberia.

What kills me is putting a house together. Now I don't know if guys have the same problem but in my experience and in the stories I've heard from other women, well I think it would be best to have CIA and Navy Seal training to put together a house full of girls. Why can't we just be honest with each other about this whole thing? Why can't I ask someone if they want to live with me and have them straight out tell me that they think I'm a drama queen and they don't think they could handle living with me. I'd still be friends with them after they said that. (I might be inclined to point out that I'm much less of a dq at home than I am with the outside world.) And why do women, who are naturally communicators, stop communicating when housing is involved? Why does one part of a group tell someone their house is full when the other part of the house is inviting more people to live with them? Or why tell someone that you're only going to live with one other person and then turn around and live with 4 or 5 others? Why say that you don't know what you're doing for housing when you're really looking at 2 or 3 different options?

I love Jesus and He loves me. So if you tell me that you don't want to live with me I'll be ok. I won't hate you or curse you or be hurt for 6 weeks. I imagine lots of other women are the same. Have some respect for yourself and for the people you love and tell them the truth. Sometimes you just shouldn't live with someone, you can still love them a lot, a lot, but not be able to live with them.

All of that being said...I need a place to live for the summer and for the 06-07 school year. I need it to be cheaper than the place I'm living in right now and I would prefer that it was above ground. If you know of anything would you please let me know.

Thank you

(ps I can't wait 'til I'm married and don't have to worry about finding a roommate any more)

- End Rant

Friday, January 20, 2006

Anyone Want to Buy a Hanging Garden?

I wanted to learn more about the Babylonian Hanging Garden(s). So like any good Gen Y kid I Googled it. I learned a little, which was good. But my biggest surprise was that the good people at BizRate have a Hanging Garden or two for sale! I say Class of '07 Grad Gift!


I think I might be the kind of person who would blog while on my honeymoon.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006


My cousin Beth is one of the lawyers who is on the yes you should be responsible for your guests side of this case.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006



Some Quotes From a Few Weeks Away

In Central Park-
Connor (my 7 year old cousin): Dad can we take a horse and buggy to hockey next week?
Hugh (his Dad): Maybe in the Spring when it's warmer.
Connor: The Spring! I'll be dead by then!


Michael Kinnomon: We have to reconcile ourselves to being ambassadors of reconciliation.


Sarah Slotegraaf: (reading a sign out loud the exact way it was written) Where is Mass Tpke?


Lstew: Asian men, plus my hips, equals hilarity.


Laura: You know what a missionary is right?
Tow Truck Driver: Yeah, they kill people.
Laura: No, that's a mercenary.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Last Weekend

The Big Green Lady

Time Square

Faye Ray? King Kong?

A New York Subway car to ourselves?!

Saturday, January 14, 2006


I wish the rest of life had been on pause while I was gone.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006


Last night I was having a hard time sleeping. I just felt like I was being spiritually attacked. Most of the energy that I would have spent trying to go to sleep (yes I suck so much at sleeping that I have to use energy to actually get to sleep) was spent praying for protection. A friend was sleeping in the same room as me. She says that normally she ignores everything as she falls asleep, which she also does quite quickly. But last night she noticed that I was tossing and turning a lot. She said that one time when I turned over in my bed she heard a scream and the first thing that she thought was "uh oh, demons." So she started to pray and fell asleep praying. What was interesting to me was that at some point early in my prayers I sensed that I could not fight this battle on my own (meaning outside of God and I), so I asked for God to raise up an intercessor. He did, right in my room.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Big Ladies

Steam rollers, erotic fruit, big green ladies, underground speed, death death death, crowns, girls girls girls.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006


The keenest ears to Christ are the ones that are the freest from worldly noise.

How free are you?

Monday, January 02, 2006

Sunday, January 01, 2006