Friday, November 19, 2010

In Yer He-ad...

My brain made up the following song while I was procrastinating from getting dressed this morning:

(to the tune of There's a Hole In My Bucket)

Oh, where are your pants,
Dear Laura, dear Laura?
Oh, where are your pants,
Dear Laura, your pants?

I hate them,
Dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry.
I hate them,
Dear Henry.
I hate my pants.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Monday, October 11, 2010

Things That Make Me A Better Person

I think I need about 17 of these:

Actually maybe everyone in the country should have one. Well, at least me. They can be procured here.

Thursday, October 07, 2010

Not The Peaceful Night He Bargained For

There was a spider in my blue kazoo.  He got rocket launched across the room as I blew my blue kazoo.

Tuesday, October 05, 2010

Have You Ever?

Have you ever put all the pants you like to wear in the same load of laundry shortly after waking up and then gone to change out of your pyjamas and realized that you just put every pair of pants you like to wear in the same load of laundry?

I may or may not have done that this morning. 

Saturday, October 02, 2010

Medical Dramas

Over the summer and early this fall I've watched a lot of Grey's Anatomy and House.  I really like these medical dramas, a lot of people do.  I was trying to remember if there were any Canadian medical dramas on when ER became popular.  There may have been and obviously they were so fantastic that I can't remember them.  So I wondered about a couple of new Canadian medical dramas...

CDD - Canadian Diagnostics Division - Basically a copy of House, but with two significant differences. 1) Canadian health insurance - so there is less drama about how to pay for blood tests and tonsillectomies. 2) Wait times - "Get him a cdc, ldh, pcp, and a ct scan."  "Ok doctor.  I'll have the results to you in 6-8 months."

Spiritual Services Squad - Highly dramatic writing with emergency prayers, conversions, religious conflict, personal faith crises, love affairs, cranky director, differences in ideologies and philosophies, races to give the last rights, existential battles over the existence of higher beings, so many possibilities!

Thursday, September 23, 2010

All Your Problems Are Solved

Christmas is around a very large corner.  Last year I provided a boat load of fantastic gift ideas.  I believe most of them were ignored.  The exception being the delightful pedicures my lovely cousin Katherine and I had. 

I am promising to do better this year.  I believe I have solved all of your Christmas gift problems.  No more will you sit around, scratching your head until it bleeds, wondering what to get your mother-in-law.  Battles between couples that degrade into vase throwing and fire poker swinging over plasma televisions and stairmasters will dissolve into sixties-esque love-ins.

This glorious gift-o-rama is a website for a Hamilton, ON based business.  You can get every gift you need for really, any season, all from this one website, all from the comfort of your own home.

This magical, magnificent website is:

Happy shopping!

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Bacon Tree

This joke comes by way of the beautiful Nikki Gerrits (who got it from her Mom):

(please forgive any racial stereotyping)

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States , wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says.........

"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk."

"Si, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon. "

With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.

There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon ..... every imaginable kind of cured pork.

"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Ees a bacon tree."

"Luis, maybe ees a meerage? We ees in the desert don't forget."

"Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree."

And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock. Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath,

"Pepe... go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!"

"Luis, Luis mi amigo... what ees it? "

"Pepe.. ees not a bacon tree. Ees




Ees a ham bush...."

Monday, September 06, 2010

Things You Might Say To Your Computer or Significant Other

  1. What are you thinking about?
  2. I think I gave you a virus.
  3. Can't you load quicker?
  4. After you recharge you'll feel better.
  5. That's not what I asked you to do.
  6. You're too loud.
  7. Why aren't you working?
  8. Why can't I turn you on?
  9. Reboot this!
  10. You've really slowed down over the years.

Friday, September 03, 2010


Dear Secret Boyfriend,

I just learned that African Lion Safari has a baby giraffe. I love giraffes. Let's go see it.

Anticipatorily yours,


Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Not Sweetest Of Ideas

I have to get some blood work done as a part of my yearly physical.  My doctor thought we should do the kind where I fast for 12 hours.  I'm about to hit hour 4 of not eating, which is not exactly a feat worth heralding.

In an act of distraction I've been doing some "surfing" of the "world wide interweb" and without thinking ended up at a site about cake.

Cake as you may know is a food - a delicious, delectable food.  I like to have cake in my hand, my mouth and my stomach.  I like vanilla cake with lots of icing.

That last rant just made my stomach hurt.  I'm going to stop looking at cakes on the internet and perhaps read the news instead.  It'll be more stomach turning, which will help with my stomach's yearning.

Also - is awesome, go there, now.

Monday, July 05, 2010

I saw my first zebra a week ago.  Actually maybe it wasn't my first.  I probably saw one at the Toronto Metro Zoo when I was a wee lass, so...uh... ok: I saw my first zebra in Bowmanville.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Here Is A Picture...Now Take Your Thousand Words

A picture of me joining the CRC.

A picture of my little sister Rachel graduating from Redeemer

A picture of me before doing a sleep test/study

Monday, June 21, 2010

Watch Out

Some good friends of mine (KD &; MPV) were telling me about a movie they saw late this spring.  It is called "Birdemic - Shock and Terror".  It involves an homage to Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds" and birds with lasers.  I watched the theatrical trailer and well, it seems to have "indie" written all over it.  But I'm not an expert in these things.  I'll give you the link to the movie's website, and you can have a gander here at the trailer and then you let me know your thoughts.

Oh, you should also know the film is being shown at the Bloor Cinema in Toronto on June 26.

Birdemic: Shock And Terror Official Theatrical Trailer from Severin Films on Vimeo.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010


Sorry for the lack of posting lately.  Apparently it's bronchitis that's been making me so tired over the last few weeks.  Also, typing with a sprained thumb hurts.  I hope to resume the regular M,W,F schedule soon.

Here is a picture, just 'cause:

Friday, June 11, 2010

Things You Never Think You'll Do

So there I am, playing good ol' Christian, co-ed, slo-pitch (we won, we're 2-1 now), and I'm about to bat.  One of the other team's players comes to the plate and proceeds to tell the ump that a city worker has approached their bench and told them that they will be turning the lights off at 10:30pm.  The game started at 9:30 and the diamond was booked until 11pm and it's minutes to 10:30pm. 

We hadn't got enough innings in to make it a legal game, thusly, we had a problem.  Suggestions were made to use feminine charms to coerce the man into letting us have our half hour, have the ump talk to him, etc.  Then the member of the other team said, "I don't think those will work, I think he's a deaf, mute."

So guess who ended up pulling out her sign language alphabet to talk this guy into letting us finish the game... yup, you're right, me.  We got our half an hour and finished our game.  End of story, right...?

After the game, a couple of friends and I wandered across the park to Rolly Rocket's BBQ and I was relaying this story to the owner.  As soon as I mentioned "deaf, mute" he responds with "oooooh, that's Joseph. He's not a city worker.  He lives across the street, he's kind of a volunteer."  I asked if he was the kind of volunteer who should be turning on the lights and Rolly juuuust wasn't sure.  Crap.

The moral of the story is that sometimes you're trying to play hardcore Christian, co-ed, slo-pitch and end up a) being heckled by a drunk guy on a bench in the outfield b) straining your thumb c) making a pseudo diving catch and throwing someone out at 2nd from your belly, or d) spelling out words in sign language to convince a neighbourhood "volunteer" that he shouldn't turn lights off that he may not even have the ability to turn off.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Not Okay

A friend's brother/roommate's soon to be brother-in-law was killed on Tuesday.  She said that your youngest brother shouldn't be the first one to go in the family.  I'm inclined to agree - that's not normative.

Details -,

Wednesday, June 09, 2010

Isn't It Alarming

Dear Boat Owner with the boat alarm,

You really need to change the settings on your boat alarm - it goes off... a lot... and for a long time.  This annoys the whole neighbourhood.  Please fix it.



Tuesday, June 01, 2010

Mind Blowing

Turn your speakers up a bit, then go here and smile.  The link comes courtesy of my Dad.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Things To Do In Hamilton For 10$ (Per Person)Or Under Vol. 1.2

Choir concert - in honour of Redeemer University College outgoing president Dr. Justin Cooper.

Friday, May 14th, 2010 @ MacNab Presbyterian, Hamilton, ON

Pieces include: Byrd's Ave Verum Corpus; Lotti's Crucifixus; Halloran's Witness; select parts of Brahm's Liebeslieder Waltzer and much, much more.

There are real, paid soloists.  I'm singing in it. 

And you can come for the low, low cost of 10$.  Tickets available by calling the RUC box office at 905 648 2131 ext 4211 or by going to

Monday, May 10, 2010

You're Fine, You're Fine, You...You're Cut

I was at my parents' this weekend and watched a lot of playoff hockey.  While watching the Sharks and Red Wings on Saturday night, I initiated a line of conversation about the survival abilities of certain team mascots.  I decided that hockey teams need to be named after things that could plausibly survive a northern winter.

Teams like the Avalanche, Canadiens, and Penguins are quite alright.  Teams in the "eeee, you might freeze to death" category are the Panthers, Ducks and Coyotes.  But Sharks, Hurricanes and Blue Jackets, you guys would die.  You need to change your team names.  My Dad and I suggest the following: Pelts, Snow Leopards, Huskies, Freezing Rain, Snow Birds, Economic Incentive Programs, and Shovels.

Friday, May 07, 2010

Putting A Spin On Things

Sometimes it is hard to be single.  Though I also know it can be hard to be a couple too.  By not dating your Grandparent, I think you can find the goodness in whichever situation you find yourself.  Example - "daaag I wish I had a boyfriend, oh well, things could be worse, I could be dating my Grandpa."  Or "maaaan my significant other is annoying the stink outta me, oh well, things could be worse, i could be dating my Grandma and we could be paying a surrogate to have our child."

In case you're calling the hospital to have me committed, read this article first (then you can call).

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

The Ides of March, Men Bearing Gifts, Smiling Wolves

You could beware all the things in the title.  Or you heed these words: beware wigs.

Monday, May 03, 2010


Did someone want to go ahead and let May know that it's not August? And while you're talking to months, ask what happened to April, 'cause really, let's be honest, May came in April.

Friday, April 30, 2010

Things To Do In Hamilton For 10$ Or Under Vol. 1.1

Doors Open Hamilton is this weekend.

Uhhh what is Doors Open Hamilton? (from their website):
"The Doors Open program seeks to celebrate, educate and inform citizens and visitors of the importance of the architectural, cultural and historical sites in Hamilton by allowing visitors free access to properties that are either not usually open to the public, or would normally charge an entrance fee. Many locations organize guided tours, displays and activities to enrich the visitor experience."

Uhhh when exactly is this thing?
Saturday May 1 and Sunday May 2 (you have to read about individual sites to see exact hours - but an average is 11-4)

Where can I go, I'm too lazy busy to go to the website and read everything.
Here are a few featured sites to entice you:
  • Griffin House
    733 Mineral Springs Road, Ancaster
    In 1834 this simple clapboard house on a hilltop just west of the Hermitage ruins became the homestead of Enerals Griffin believed to have entered Canada through the Underground Railway.
  •  Carnegie Gallery
    10 King Street West, Dundas
    The Carnegie Library building was built in the Classic Revival style in c1910, on land donated by Dundas business man Col. Grafton. In 1980, The Dundas Art and Craft Association opened the gallery and shop, showcasing artists and craftsmen of the local region. Now owned by the association, it continues to be a cultural hub for the city of Hamilton. 
  • The e-House
    1820 Valens Road, Puslinch
    This e-house (ecological, economic, efficient), completed in 2007, may be the most energy-efficient house in Canada. Designed by its owner, it combines advanced energy-efficient design and construction techniques with affordability, and generates its own electricity. It is often referred to as the “no furnace, off-the-grid house.” 
  • School Sisters of Notre Dame
    1921 Snake Road, Waterdown
    Located on the Niagara Escarpment, the School Sisters of Notre Dame open the doors to their magnificent chapel with jewel-like stained glass windows by Yvonne Williams and sculptures by Dora de Pedery-Hunt. A rare opportunity to enjoy the quiet beauty and gracious hospitality of the Motherhouse. 
  • Art Gallery of Hamilton
    123 King Street West, Hamilton (at Summers Lane between Bay and MacNab Streets)
    Founded in 1914, the Art Gallery of Hamilton is Ontario's third largest public art gallery and owns one of the finest collections in Canada. In 2010, the AGH is celebrating Vital Africa, a year-long celebration of African arts and culture and its influence on the world. 
  • Lincoln Alexander Centre (former Odeon Theatre)
    150 King Street East, Hamilton (at Catharine Street)
    Thirty years ago the Odeon I and II cinemas on this site closed down, victims of the shift of business and entertainment from the core of the city. This year it reopened as Hamilton's finest upscale entertainment hall. Life has come full circle for the downtown block.
  • Ormond Green
    56 Ferrie Street West, Hamilton East of Bay Street
    This humble semi-detached worker's cottage has been transformed from a crowded layout of tiny rooms into an open concept living space. Original structural boards and scavenged wood have been re-worked into trim and wainscot. House exemplifies green design. External insulation allows for exposed brick 
  • St. Mary's Pro Cathedral
    146 Park Street North, Hamilton (1 block west of James N. at Sheaffe St.)
    Built in 1859-60, St. Mary's retains its original pre-Confederation Gothic Revival character.  The magnificent interior features an elaborately carved high altar, Bavarian stained glass and memorials to Hamilton's first bishops. The imposing red brick exterior is distinguished by a massive bell tower and stone trim. St. Mary's is Hamilton's original Roman Catholic cathedral, celebrating its 150th anniversary in 2010. 
  • The Studios at Hotel Hamilton
    195 James Street North, Hamilton (at Mulberry Street)
    Originally built in 1887 as a commercial building and expanded in 1905 to a hotel for soldiers. The building has been revitalized to include 19 studios, a ground floor café, gallery and more. Historical elements that still remain from its colourful past include the hand-laid terrazzo floor and custom plaster ceiling in the ground floor café, exposed brick walls, original fire doors, and high ceilings. 
  • Stinson School Lofts
    200 Stinson Street, Hamilton
    Once upon a time schools were important-looking buildings, with baronial architecture, imposing stone walls, arched entrances and grand wooden interiors. Constructed in 1894, Hamilton's Stinson School is amongst the last of its kind. By good fortune the building has been designated historic and is now in the process of conversion into unique residential apartments.
  • Whitehern Historic House & Garden
    41 Jackson Street, Hamilton (at MacNab Street South)
    Prominently situated in a walled terraced garden, Whitehern is an outstanding example of a mid-19th century urban estate. The house has a multi-layered character that reflects the alterations made by three generations of the McQuesten family.  Today Whitehern represents the year 1939. View the recently renovated 1850's stable. 
  • Workers Arts and Heritage Centre
    51 Stuart Street, Hamilton (near Bay and Barton)
    Workers Arts and Heritage Centre is Canada's only national labour history museum and art gallery.  Housed in Hamilton's Customs House, a national heritage building (1860), WAHC offers an entertaining and educational experience. Celebrate the 150th anniversary of the building and 15th anniversary of the centre with new special guided tours. 
  • Gage Park & Tropical House
    Gage Park, Lawrence Road, East of Gage Avenue
    Gage Park is a 30ha park serving the downtown community and hosting city wide special events. Originally designed by H.B. Dunnington-Grubb Landscape Architects in the 1920s, the park contains perennial and rose gardens, tropical and production greenhouses, fountain, band shell, lawn bowling and tennis clubs, baseball fields, children's playground and the Hamilton Children's Museum. 
  • St. Nicholas' Serbian Orthodox Church
    1415 Barton Street East, Hamilton (at Division Street)
    In the shadow of factories, amid the bustle of traffic, there is a place steeped in history, spirituality and beauty.  Home of eastern Canada's oldest Serbian Orthodox Parish, the church's architecture celebrates the Serbo-Byzantine style. The interior features masterpieces of fresco iconography and traditional woodcarving in the Orthodox tradition. 
  • Dundurn National Historic Site
    610 York Boulevard, Hamilton (at Dundurn Street)
    The former home of Sir Allan MacNab, lawyer, soldier, businessman and politician embodies the picturesque movement in Canada. Visit the re-created mid-Victorian kitchen garden and landscape. Tour the newly restored Dining Room with 1830's paint scheme. Also on site the 1835 Cockpit, the only known North American structure of this type. 
  • McMaster Museum of Art
    1280 Main Street West, Hamilton (at Sterling & Forsyth)
    Opened in 1950, the Museum of Art is a hidden gem among Canadian galleries. A bequest in 1990 by Herman Levy added many key pieces to the collection, including Monet's Waterloo Bridge and Van Gogh's Still Life with Ginger Jar and Onions. It also boasts the world's largest collection of German Expressionist Art. 
  • McMaster Nuclear Reactor
    1280 Main Street West, Hamilton (at Sterling & Forsyth)
    The McMaster Nuclear Reactor (MNR) opened in 1959 as the first university-based research reactor in the British Commonwealth. Today, it is used for research by students, academics, small and international businesses, and in the production of medical isotopes used to treat prostate cancer. 
So, go to and read more details.  Figure out what you want to see, when those things are open and plan your routes.  Many of these places charge admission during the rest of the year, or are simply not open to the public.  Go see a fresco, go get a tour that gives you a rich history lesson and insite into the city you live in, go be inspired by a green/eco house, go see a Van Gogh, go see how life is being breathed back into Hamilton through the reinvention of historic buildings.  Frescos, Van Gogh and the possibility of refreshments - all for a zero dollar admission price.  You can't really go wrong here.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Protests and Explosions

Last Friday night was an explosive night of civil unrest.  Of course, by this I mean that there was a busker protest and a fireworks conference demonstration.

It seems some buskers got fined under some sort of panhandling by-law.  Now totally trying to avoid a PR nightmare or artistic riots coincidentally the city of Hamilton started looking at putting a licensing system into place for buskers/street performers.  Alors, the artistic community wished to say "up yours" to "the man" and approximately 40 buskers took to the (James) street (North) on Friday.

Some evidence:

The Canadian Fireworks Association held their annual convention in Hamilton this year.  With the conference came 3 hours of commercial product demonstrations, competition fireworks, and a lovely display of pyrotechnics that one would need a license to purchase.

Some evidence:

Monday, April 26, 2010

You Can't Go Back To Constantinople, Or Work For Lakeport

I'm not an expert on labour relations.  But here is what I think is going down (there is a lot some bias towards the workers):
  • Labatts bought Lakeport a few years ago
  • Labatts called the workers in and told them 3 weeks from now y'all are out of a job, we're closing the plant
  • 143 people lose their jobs
  • Labatts says the plant and its equipment are old and inefficient and it's moving the equipment to other plants
  • Labatts has the lease on the plant until next May and say they are open to someone else taking over the lease as long as it's not another brewer - much like someone holding a lease to a bowling alley, taking the pins and balls out and saying anyone can move in, just as long as you don't try and have a bowling alley going in there
  • 3 different brewers have put in offers and have been rejected by Labbats
I stopped by a wee rally in support of the workers last week.  Here are a few pics...

Friday, April 23, 2010

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Let's Make It A Theme

I googled 1500 in honour of Monday's 1500th post.  Here are some of the results:
  • the year 1500 was a leap year and started on a Wednesday
  • a map of Europe in the year 1500
  • a lot of chatter about Kristina Groves winning the 1500m women's speed skating gold at the Vancouver 2010 Olympics
  • a well advertised Dodge Ram 1500
  • a February 2010 outbreak of mumps among Orthodox Jews in New York and New Jersey that surpassed 1500 cases
Aren't you glad I shared all of that?

    Monday, April 19, 2010

    Fifteen Hundred

    Well holy crap.  This is my fifteen hundredth post.  Can you believe what an unbelievable waste of time contribution to society fifteen hundred blog posts is?  That is one thousand five hundred.  Do you understand this?  I'm not sure I can even comprehend this internet bytery.

    Every once in a while I go back and read some of my earliest posts.  They suck.  Like suck haaaaaard.  Though at times they are a long ad for the Pita Pit or injuring annoying people.  Doing the second one would be a lucrative vocation if one could get beyond the law.  I'm still working on it.  But it didn't work for that one angel in Dogma, soooo I'm not working too hard.

    This blog has gone through at least 3 different colour schemes, 3 different names.  At times (usually when I was supposed to be writing papers) there were multiple times a day.  Occaisionally I would take a few weeks off of entertaining and inspiring.  Most of the time I can adhere to a self imposed Monday-Wednesday-Friday schedule (how many brains just exploded when I said that - yup, there is a rhythm to my madness).

    The blog has been an updater; a sharing vehicle; an outlet for my angst, rage, sorrow, humour, etc.  I'll admit that the dawn of facebook has hit my numbers.  Though it's not surprising that a blog that has no real point would struggle to survive.

    I'll keep posting my brand of humour, biasedly pushing things I'm interested in, and sharing the ridiculous.  Maybe I'll make it to 3000. 


    Monday, April 12, 2010

    The First Robyn Of Spring Has Flown The Coup

    One of my roommates, Robyn is gone for the next month for a teaching placement. She is lovely. I (and the rest of the house) will miss her.

    Friday, April 09, 2010

    Baseball Is Lovely

    1. If you love the Jays, like the Leafs, they will tease your heart for a few months, then rip it out and poop on it.  Just sayin'.
    2. My brother is making his triumphant return to men's baseball this summer with the Howe Sound Cannons of the North Shore Men's Baseball Association.
    3. I still miss the Expos.

    Wednesday, March 31, 2010

    This Week In History

    I was thinking about Jesus last night.  If I was him, I wouldn't have slept very well during this week of riots and madness.  I think that may be one of the many reasons I'm not Jesus.

    Monday, March 29, 2010

    Friday, March 26, 2010


    Dear Secret Boyfriend,

    Just so you know, you are totally allowed to take me to Opera Hamilton's performance of:

    (April 22 & 24 @ Hamilton Place)

    Monday, March 22, 2010

    Postmodern Homer and His Pearls of Wisdom

    Here are 2 things that aren't secrets:
    1. I really like The Simpsons.
    2. Homer Simpson has pervaded Western culture.
    I've collected a few Homer quotes here.  I'm pretty sure you can live your life by them...

    “It’s better to watch stuff than do stuff.”

    “Good things don’t end in ‘eum’ (like museum) they end in ‘mania’ or ‘teria’ (like cafeteria).”

    “Trying is the first step towards failure.”

    “A boy can learn more in an airport than he can in any school.”

    “If God didn’t want us to eat in church, he would have made gluttony a sin.”

    “Ah, the tunnel of love – nothing gets a woman in your arms faster than scary robots and simulated privacy.”

    Wednesday, March 17, 2010

    I'm Sure I Don't Know This Girl

    She's wearing green, so this totally counts as a St. Paddy's post. Be safe if you're going out tonight. I'll be worrying about you...

    Monday, March 15, 2010

    Current Musical Obsession

    CMO: "Polite Dance Song" by The Bird and the Bee

    I couldn't embed the official video so here is a link to it. I highly suggest you check it out. Highly.

    Monday, March 08, 2010

    Here's Hoping

    So I'm going to engage in a little project today that should improve this wee blog of mine.  Either that or it will cause me to pull all of my hair out.  Maybe both.

    Wednesday, March 03, 2010

    Licking Their Wounds

    This came courtesy of Twitter, via a blog:

    A radio station in Buffalo, New York refused to play Canadian music Monday in response to Team Canada’s gold medal hockey win over the U.S. Sunday.

    103.3 The Edge announced its plans on their website prior to canning Canadian content. American listeners joined in on the fun, by encouraging the station to continue to ban northern music permanently until the next Olympics.

    “We hope you understand our passive-aggressiveness,” read part of the message on The Edge’s site.
    The station said it’s nothing personal, but they needed to do something to make them feel superior to us, even if it was just for a day.

    Monday, March 01, 2010


    ....recovering from the Olympics...regular posting will resume shortly.....yes i know my comments are medal....what?.....he shoots he scores.....finally get to stop hearing the I Believe song.....sigh

    Wednesday, February 24, 2010

    So You're A Little Sick Of It

    Ok, you don't give two shakes about the Olympics. I can get that. I don't agree with it, but well, you just go ahead and live your empty, meaningless life.

    Anyhoo, I thought I'd give you a link to a site that will give you some great advice and has nothing to do with sport.

    7 Reasons To Keep Your Tyrannosaur Off Crack Cocaine

    Monday, February 22, 2010

    To Help Your Sense of (Groovin') National Pride

    I know sometimes it's hard to get excited about this country. Especially as you're shovelling your way out the front door or killing swarms of mosquitoes. Or when your hockey team loses, your fraternal skaters aren't triumphant, or your bobsled flips.

    So here is a music video from Halifax's resident hip hop/rap magnate Classified. Be advised, this may not be work or children safe due to one partially muted f-bomb, a couple of d@mns, mentions of marijuana and a few people consuming alcohol.


    Friday, February 19, 2010

    Things That Are Cool

    • gold medals
    • being able to text your brother while he's at the sliding centre and say... tell him that the Italian bronze medal luger is a hottie and ask him to drop my name, or ask what the delay is with the women's skeleton start
    • Lloyd Robertson's cryogenic chamber

    Wednesday, February 17, 2010

    Not So Linear

    • lent starts today
    • i have a crush on alex bilodeau
    • i have a crush on maelle ricker
    • why on earth did i think that giving up coke and bacon for lent was a good idea when lent starts during the olympics
    • i'm so dang proud of my brother right now
    • giraffes are nice
    • quatchi is nice

    Monday, February 15, 2010

    Celebrate Family Day With...

    Lady Gaga!
    Ah hahahahahasnorthaha coughhahahachokehahaha.

    But seriously, this acoustic live performance of Poker Face makes my socks shoot of my feet.

    Friday, February 12, 2010

    Wednesday, February 10, 2010

    What Else Would This Be About?

    Straight from the good people at Monkey Goggles, we have the Bacon Eater's Manifesto Part 1...

    This document is a recently discovered artifact of an organization that existed in America during the 1950s. The Society for Culinary Acceptance of Bacon competed for membership with the Masons and Oddfellows during the height of secret fraternal organizations. SCAB didn’t hide itself behind secrets and mystical ceremonies like most groups, it was just a bunch of guys that really liked bacon.

    Still, they produced several important written documents, including this recently-uncovered Bacon Eater’s Manifesto. Although its language and some of its attitudes may appear outdated, we present a section of it because its central wisdom still holds true today.

    The Bacon Eater’s Manifesto

    Before beginning, we must acknowledge bacon as the most perfect food that has ever or will ever exist. It is the food which holds the perfect balance of fat and salt. The crispiness to withstand even the moistest sandwich and the heartiness to make even a salad edible. We sing the praises of bacon. We dance in its honor. We close our eyes and inhale deeply allowing its scent to enter our bodies and fill us with happiness as if we were human balloons and the bacon is God’s breath.

    Bacon is also the universal food, for it is not elitist fancy-pants eating. It is enjoyed by everyone from the lowliest hobo to the wealthiest Wall Street tycoon. Even Mr. Rockefeller himself is known to partake in bacon during breaks from counting his large stacks of money. It is the chosen last meal of death row inmates and the first thing men ask for after being rescued from desert islands. After all, if you were stranded on an island, would you rather have a beautiful woman or endless bacon? The choice is clear.

    We suggest renaming the pig to something more descriptive of its purpose. This animal should be renamed “living bacon” or “bacon with legs” so as not to hide that inner beauty it holds. The swine lives in filth, but just as plants grow from manure, so does the seed of bacon take hold in the swill of mud and garbage and grow into the redwood of meats. Bacon.

    Now that we have paid proper homage to bacon, we name ourselves as eaters of bacon and set forth our purpose and pathway. These are the truths we live by and hold sacred.

    1. There is nothing that cannot be improved by the addition of bacon.

    Some might hold out sweets as being spoiled by adding bacon or a gourmet chef might say that the balance of a dish will be upset by the addition of bacon, but we state here and now that they are wrong. There is no food, or indeed no event, that cannot be improved with the addition of bacon. A single slice of bacon can act as a magnifying glass on the smallest amount of goodness or happiness in something, and magnify it to skyscraper size.

    2. Bacon may shorten your life, but what is life without bacon?

    Doctors, health nuts and vegetarians are constantly whispering in our ears that bacon poses some kind of health risk. That your life would be longer without it. But, we ask, what is your life without it? It’s a cupcake without frosting. A marriage without love. A summer without a sunny day. Quality of life must be taken into consideration when choosing your food. Do not waste time with green beans and squash; fill all the empty moments with the king of meat.

    3. Bacon is the best thing at a breakfast buffet.

    Loading up on toast or eggs is a tragedy. For they are simply buffer foods to distract you from bacon.

    4. Bacon is so delicious, some people claim it wrote the works of Shakespeare.

    We have our doubts that it did. For if bacon could write, why would it write something so boring and inscrutable to the common man?

    5. The greatest odor in the world is the smell of cooking bacon.

    If one were to truly and dutifully bottle its essence, even a woman plain as tap water could attract a square-jawed, Hollywood dreamboat. If it were promised that heaven smelled like bacon, surely men would do no evil from that moment forward.

    The document then goes on to describe the ceremonial eating and enjoyment of bacon as practiced by those that know it best. You can read the second part here.

    - David Wahl

    Monday, February 08, 2010

    Making The Best Of It

    Two east of Toronto girls showing how it's done.

    The hockey card shot.

    Who needs a helmet when you have hair like Steve's?

    Jacques Plante wannabe.

    Who says you can't be cold and sexy?

    Friday, February 05, 2010

    One Week

    Another reason to be excited about the Olympics...

    Brighton resident part of Olympic magic

    BRIGHTON -- Like millions of people, John Stewart dreamed of Olympic stardom as a kid.

    And, like millions of people, he didn't achieve those dreams, at least athletically.

    But unlike the rest, Stewart found another way to live his Olympic dream. With the Vancouver Winter Olympics set for February, the Brighton native moved to Whistler, B.C., in 2007 with the hopes of finding a part to play in the Games. With no relevant experience, he applied for a job on the track crew at the Whistler Sliding Centre, where the bobsled, luge and skeleton events will be contested. Not only did he get the job, he was soon named foreman of one of the track crews, and has spent the last two years working to create "the fastest track in the world."

    "Everything a Zamboni does, we do by hand," explained Stewart, of the work he and his crew must do to prepare the track for the Olympics.

    But while the driver of an ice resurfacer has the benefit of working on a flat surface, the workers in Whistler must contend with a 1.5 kilometre stretch of ice that twists, turns and dives, with a vertical drop of 152 metres. Even when wearing special boots with spikes in the bottom, slips are hardly uncommon, and when they happen, it's a long ride down to the bottom.

    "It's not a job for the faint of heart," he said, noting how workers are often covered in snow, ice and water throughout their long days.

    But if you can handle the work, it's very rewarding.

    "It's a job you can take pride in. It brings out the perfectionist in you," he said.

    "Our job is to make the track as fast and safe as possible."

    By all accounts, Stewart and his team have succeeded. The track has been studied and used by athletes, spectators, broadcasters, and officials, many of whom have shared their belief that it's the best slide in the world. That's a source of immense pride for Stewart.

    "It's the first time I've put my hands on something that's considered the best in the world. It's a real good feeling. This is a special place," he said. "It's going to be a crown jewel of the Olympics, (and) it will continue to be the preeminent track in the world for years to come."

    When Stewart isn't working, he and his girlfriend can be found snowboarding across Whistler's incredible slopes. He has even taken the opportunity to bobsled down the track himself, not just for fun, but to better understand the feedback the athletes give him.

    The rush that goes along with it is just a bonus.

    After two years of work, the big moment is less than a month away, and Stewart and his crew will be working hard to ensure the slide is in pristine condition as the world's top athletes go for gold.

    "Ever since I was a little kid, I've been enthralled by the Olympics," he said. "It's going to be a big party, (and) I'll be there in the thick of it. It will be incredible. I can't wait."

    (article from The Brighton Independent)