Saturday, May 03, 2008

I'm An Adult Now (Boo)

So sometimes (read many many times), being an adult sucks. I'm sure that's why I managed to stretch my undergrad out for so long - to avoid officially becoming one.

My plans for this summer have been in a constant flux - things fall through, firm up, fall through, etc etc. Its left me feeling a little like I'm swimming in a sea of grey, looking for a life boat of black and white details. As it stands right now, I'm in Hamilton for the summer (though this seems to be subject to change) but without a job.

The joblessness is coinciding with the need to pay my car insurance bill - which I choose to do in one lump sum because its cheaper that way, and I have so (oh so) many other monthly payments to make (once again the undergrad shows its ugly head). Luckily it seems that I am getting a cash gift from my set of wealthy grandparents that will help a lot with this bill.

The suck-tastic thing is that I have to use my grad gift to pay for my car insurance (believe me i am very thankful for my car, for the use of it and i know how lucky i am to have it). Especially since I am relatively commitment free, there are a few ways I could think of to spend that money, and oh, maybe all of them have nothing to do with continuing to be a whipping boy for the insurance industry.

This ties in and creates some rage/angst/sadness in the context of what is happening next week. John is coming to Ontario. He is flying in and then driving his girlfriend's car back to Whistler. None of his guy friends are able to ride back with him and then fly back. My brother is one of my best friends. We may not operate like typical best friends, but daaamn, I love him, I love to spend time with him - we have so much in common (which i know, we grew up together in the country, but a lot of siblings are very different from each other). We love to talk about music and books and politics and sports and religion and people and pretty much everything.

We had talked, back in the day when it looked like we were going to graduate at the same time, that it would be super cool to tour Europe together. John, uh, needs to finish up still, but that won't be for a while. So no Europe. But here is a great chance for us to spend some really cool time together, and then for me to see family and friends in B.C and come back for grad. But standing in the way is car insurance, rent, phone, phone, internet, hydro, osap, line of credit, Redeemer - all bills. I need to stay put and make money. I need to pay the bills. I hate being an adult right now, its depriving me of time with my only sibling (and best friend).

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