Sunday, February 01, 2004

She Ate A Bag of Skittles

The other day I was trying to send my blog addy to Amyann and I misspelled it. The link didn't work so she did some assuming on what I had meant to spell and ended up at this blog. Seriously, go there, right now. Read the whole thing. (*waiting for you to go and come back*) Ok, so Ames and I laughed our sweet faces off at the "calcaladors" and smelling like marijuana. Frick, I'm just sorry that this girl doesn't have any more posts. You may want to print off that post and save it for when you have children. And when they want to eat lead paint and you want to let them, read the post and then say no.


100% Healed

I was reflecting in church today about my healing. ..A little catch up...I have a form of depression called Dysthymia. Essentially its a long term "low-grade" depression. Click the link to learn more if you want. Dysthymia can also be combined with regular major depressive episodes (let me tell you, that REALLY sucks). So I've had some rough times in my short little life (really, who hasn't), but over the past 2 or so years I have done some really cool healing. So much that I no longer require medication or therapy. This is pretty cool as I was on twice the normal adult dose of my meds. I am very happy about this healing. And I fully attribute it to the power of God. He is the only way. He is the only way that I'm still alive today. I can say that truthfully. But, and there is a but..I'm not 100% free of this disorder. I still struggle with some very intense things. With the struggling I have this argument...Wow, am I glad things aren't as bad in my head space as they used to be...Hey wouldn't it be cool if I never had to deal with this at all, or ever again. I have to admit that I think I will never be completely free of it all. But then I wonder if I'm not giving God His full props if I assume I'll be dysthymic for the rest of my life. Like that whole God can move mountains if you believe He can. Its not that I don't believe He can heal me 100%, but that I live in a fallen world where things like this exist. People like me will always want to squander the gift of life. Then again, some of the things I have learned as a result of my experiences have been invaluable when ministering to others. So part of The Plan involves some suffering. And really, some suffering in the name of the Kingdom of Heaven isn't really suffering.

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