I was at my parents' this weekend and watched a lot of playoff hockey. While watching the Sharks and Red Wings on Saturday night, I initiated a line of conversation about the survival abilities of certain team mascots. I decided that hockey teams need to be named after things that could plausibly survive a northern winter.
Teams like the Avalanche, Canadiens, and Penguins are quite alright. Teams in the "eeee, you might freeze to death" category are the Panthers, Ducks and Coyotes. But Sharks, Hurricanes and Blue Jackets, you guys would die. You need to change your team names. My Dad and I suggest the following: Pelts, Snow Leopards, Huskies, Freezing Rain, Snow Birds, Economic Incentive Programs, and Shovels.