Thursday, July 24, 2008

I Am In BIG Trouble (And Single For Life)

Perhaps a few years ago I acquired a 5 CD box set called Disney Classics: 60 Years of Musical Magic. Yeah, I know, I'm just as surprised as you are. I recently became very aware of one of the songs from this set. Its called "Femininity" and its from Summer Magic, starring Hayley Mills.

The song outlines the many ways femininity plays into a young woman catching a male. I thought I knew about these things, but this song has taught me otherwise and if it holds truth, well, I could be single for a very, very long time.

You must walk feminine {so the part where i walk like i have prosthetic limbs...that's not feminine?}
Talk feminine {doable, totally doable}
Smile and beguile feminine {i don't know what beguile means, i hope that's not important}
Utilize your femininity
That's what every girl should know,
if she wants to catch a beau

Dance feminine
Glance feminine
Act shy and sigh feminine {shy? what does that mean?}
Compliment his masculinity {does asking for tickets to the gun show count?}
That's what every girl should know,
if she wants to catch a beau

Let him do the talking
Men adore good listeners {check}
Laugh, but not too loudly (Haha) {crap. i'm done. which way to the convent?}
If he should choose to tell a joke
Be radiant, but delicate {sorry, which part of me is delicate?}
Memorize the rules of etiquette
Be demure, sweet and pure
Hide the real you
{and then what? go postal after 30 years of marriage?)

You must look feminine
Dress feminine
{like basketball shorts...right?}
You're at your best feminine
Emphasize your femininity
That's what every girl should know
Femininity, femininity
That's the way to catch a beau

And just so you can get a feel for the song, i found this on youtube:

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