From a Close Friend

These nuggets were passed to me by a close friend. I think she needs some prayer:

**frustration, the post isn't coming out they way i am typing it, so i'm sorry you don't get to read them as she wrote them**

1) the stoic attitude of 'suffer in silence'
might be ok for some
though it becomes hard for external piece picking
i think its better to explode than to implode - someone will notice

2) the pain strikes at odd hours
at inconveniencing times
mostly when there is the most love

3) at least when you explode someone notices
imploding hurts so. much. more.
i would know
though you haven't seen it.
how could you?
my heart exploded and i fell on it
covered in my own blood and pain
i looked up to see
no one

4) some would say that it is bad to envision and plan your own death. but at least then you are prepared

5) its hard to hurt with your eyes closed
'cause then you don't see the hands reaching out
though-do you really want to?

6) though i crave so desperately the love of a man
i fear that i could never release myself on him
to bad for both of us i suppose

7) its scary to think about how much pain i have absorbed. scarier to think of how much i have inflicted. will they ever be even?

8) sometimes i wonder if you can see straight into my soul. but if you could you would run. run hard. run fast. and i doubt you would come back. you know you wouldn't.

9) it must be nice to be charmed.
i'm not sure i'd want to be.

10) a damaged heart beats differently