I'm sorry that I maimed both of you yesterday. These were not desperate acts of hate. I promise I love you. Please stop sticking out and hurting when I type or massage or use my right hand. I'll give you extra moisturizer :)
Sigh, left got a paper cut across the knuckle whilst attempting to help me put a sheet of poetry in my backpack.
Righty, oh righty, I'm so sorry. I was putting up a Buxtehude poster at church last night and I slipped and then my lovely long nail on my right thumb went backwards for a while. Oh blood, oh swelling, oh pain.