Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Birth Control

You know how they have Take Your Kids To Work day? Well I was thinking about another day/night they should have for high school aged people (or really anyone considering bringing spawn into the world) - a sort of birth control, abstinence, safe sex over night trip. The trip would involve staying with a family that had children while the children were puking or having bad colds in the middle of the night. The victim/teenager/adult would be on bucket brigade and mop duty (or carpet stain removal). I don't know, but dealing with multiple puking little ones at 3am doesn't make me horny.

I tried to come up with some pithy slogans for this initiative. This was the best I could come up with - feel free to add your own...
  • Other people's kids: making you less horny since they started puking at 3am.
  • Think you're ready to be a Daddy, tough guy? Explain to your 18 month old why he can't breath.
  • Does puke make you puke? Then keep your pants on!
  • The 100% successful birth control - a combination of other people's kids and abstinence.
  • Don't be a chump. Before you hump, think about a night of runny stuff coming out of their rump. (too far?)
  • Abstinence; it-snot the worst thing that ever happened to you.
  • Cough, cough, cough, cough, what? Keep it in your drawers.
  • Nothin' spells lovin' like vomit chunk covered laundry in the middle of the night!

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