Wednesday, October 13, 2004

In the quiet misty morning

I've been in a tizzy lately. Not an outside tizzy, but an inside tizzy. The tizzy is in many ways the end result of too much thinking. Thinking about how much debt I'm in in correlation to how many years of school I have left, thinking about where I'm going to live next year - be an R.A, live on my own, find roommates that I can have for more than one year, thinking about the summer and what type of employment I need for the living arrangements I will have settled on or to follow where I think God might be leading me.

That kind of thinking just drives me crazy on the inside. I stirs up my soul like a hurricane to the east coast. I hate it.

On the weekend I went to visit a family that I am friends with. The husband of this family was a sort of mentor for me while I was a young Christian. He is also the executive director of Northumberland Youth For Christ. Often when I still lived at home I would go to him in a tizzy. I would spew out the things that were making me spin. He would sit there, listen to me, look at me for a minute and then say, "How has your quiet time been?" There would be nothing left for me to say.

There is nothing left for me to say right now. I know if he asked me right now I would fain some excuses about being out of my usual routine due to being sick and going home. And he would look at me again and I would know that my excuses have no validity.

Now if you'll excuse me I need to go do my devotions before school....

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