Monday, August 31, 2009

Shooting Star

Dear Grandma,

It'll be a year at dinner time that you left us. I can't say that 365 days has made me ok with that fact. I'm not sure what the interaction is like between earthly and heavenly realms, or even if there is any. I will not be surprised to find out that it is something we do down here to comfort ourselves. But I'm gonna pretend that one of the fun things to do in heaven is read blogs.

We had to go through many firsts this year - first non-wedding anniversary, non-birthday, Christmas, birthdays, Mother's day, Thanksgiving, Easter, births, etc. These things go on without you, but they don't look the same.

I still miss you quite a bit. I miss calling you after epic baseball games. I miss calling you when God moves in my life. I miss giving you hugs and receiving them. I miss writing you letters. I miss getting letters from you in the mail. I miss all the ways you loved my parents and how I benefited from that. I miss your laugh. I miss the fact that you rarely said good-bye at the end of a phone call. I miss sitting with my laptop and showing you pictures and trying to stop you from poking my screen with your jagged old lady fingernails. I miss teasing you about the constant poor performances of the Blue Jays. I miss having you agree with me that John can get into the craziest situations. I miss that you loved the things in my life, despite the fact that they were less exciting than John's. Mostly I miss you.

You probably know that Grandpa is doing well. But he tells us regularly that there is not a day that goes by where he does not miss you with his whole heart. I can only know pieces of what that feels like 'cause I only knew you for 27 years. He has known you and your beauty since you were both in grade school.

I want to tell you that all the love you gave me, the faith you had in me, and the faith you taught me are still living on. Grandma you were not just a drop in bucket. You were a beautiful wave in the ocean - one that is still rippling on.

I love you,


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