How Many Times Have I Found Myself Saying This...

www.marriedtothesea.com

Does This Ever Happen At Your House?

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Solid Parenting Example

superpoop.com

I'm just sayin'

Eco Friendly

I'm waiting for a certain beloved former school of mine to go down this route...


toothpastefordinner.com

I Knew There Was A Reason I Should Have One

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Though I'm not too sure about the fire coming out of my butt.

The Opinions Expressed In This Video Do Not Necessarily Reflect The Views Of This Blogger

Though she does find it funny.

Didn't This Happen To A Cousin Of Yours?

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

ps - this was post # 1400

Can I Borrow Your Pellet Gun?

Critters are eating my ripening strawberries. Two knowledgeable gardeners have jokingly suggested a pellet gun as a solution. Hmmm. I think the combination of insomnia and fire arms is a great idea. Look out Alexander and friends!

Rex De Milo Looks Back At Life Lived And What He Must Do Now

To see the rest of Rex's pensings.

When I Grow Up

I want to be like this.

Good Advice

The Temptation of Lstew

From Picture is Unrelated

Birth Control

You know how they have Take Your Kids To Work day? Well I was thinking about another day/night they should have for high school aged people (or really anyone considering bringing spawn into the world) - a sort of birth control, abstinence, safe sex over night trip. The trip would involve staying with a family that had children while the children were puking or having bad colds in the middle of the night. The victim/teenager/adult would be on bucket brigade and mop duty (or carpet stain removal). I don't know, but dealing with multiple puking little ones at 3am doesn't make me horny.

I tried to come up with some pithy slogans for this initiative. This was the best I could come up with - feel free to add your own...

• Other people's kids: making you less horny since they started puking at 3am.
• Think you're ready to be a Daddy, tough guy? Explain to your 18 month old why he can't breath.
• Does puke make you puke? Then keep your pants on!
• The 100% successful birth control - a combination of other people's kids and abstinence.
• Don't be a chump. Before you hump, think about a night of runny stuff coming out of their rump. (too far?)
• Abstinence; it-snot the worst thing that ever happened to you.
• Cough, cough, cough, cough, what? Keep it in your drawers.
• Nothin' spells lovin' like vomit chunk covered laundry in the middle of the night!
  

I Want To Go In A Similar Way

Probably you should watch this:

One Of Life's Little Annoyances

Don't you just love waking up ravenously hungry?

HEY! Stomach! Do I not get to you every morning? Ok, then chill, your time will come.

Bah.

Long, Beautiful...

I'm going to see the musical Hair tonight at Port Hope's Capitol Theatre. It promises to be a good time. Though maybe not if you're URC, or CanRef, or OCRC or FRC, 'cause there'll be wangs 'n titties in one scene. Though maybe if you are concervative reformed you never get to see those unless they're you're own. So you should prolly come. (I'm never going to be able to get landscaping or sodding done now...crap)

If you're conservative, live in the Northumberland County region and looking beyond musical wangs to broaden your horizons, I recommend the East Northumberland Secondary School, Drama Club production of Michel Trembley's Les Belles Soeurs. I'm sad I'll miss it.

Kentucky Waterfall

I decided that my car is a mullet. Yup, a mullet - business in the front, party in the back.

I drive a silver Civic. It is a pretty boring car. When you stand at the front of it you see silver and you the grey interior. The most exciting thing you see in the front is a tiny gymbe hanging from my rear view mirror.

Once you move to the back you get the party. The two rear passenger seat windows have static clings on them, the rear windshield has 2 clings on it. Then you get to the bumper which boasts 5 bumper stickers. The party is in the back.

Mullets are back in Europe. Give me 3 years and my car will be so very cool here.

Just In Case You Didn't Know

Monday = new cycle of American gladiators

Wednesday = season finale of America's Next Top Model

These truly are exciting times to be alive.

Blogging Into The Future

So Blogger finally gave us the ability to schedule posts to be published in the future. Which, ack, I did with this post. I'm sitting in church right now, but while I'm doing that, this post is being published! Wah! I've been waiting for this feature for a while - 'cause some days I get more ideas than are readable by you, my friendly bloggership. So then I have to keep the ideas and put them as drafts and remember to post them later, or just scrap them. Now I can write them and schedule them to be posted the next day, the next week, etc.

I was thinking about this and how it could be used as a tool. It brought to mind the first season of Alias. One of the main character's best friends is a reporter. He discovers all of this stuff about a pretty evil organization and they kinda sorta wanna kill him for it. In the interest of pursuing the truth he continues to chase after the story even though his life is threatened. But he does something sort of interesting - he knows that he's about to go somewhere crazy dangerous and that really really bad things could happen to him, so he writes up everything he has so far and gives it to another reporter friend. He tells her that if he doesn't come back, that something has happened to him and that she has to publish the story. Its kind of like a wacked out insurance policy.

Soooo, if I think I'm going somewhere dangerous or something, I'll write up some post to let you all know that I've been drugged and left near a pier in Hong Kong or something. But likely it'll be that I got lost on the East side looking for a better deal on fixing my car's air conditioning, and didn't get back in time to unschedule the post. Hong Kong is nice in the summer. :)

This Is Why America Is Great