Laura The Merciful

If I ever need to send underlings to collect things for me, I think I'm going to hire this cat...

"It seems that the time has come for you to repay your loan. Laura the Merciful requires your cooperation in this."

"I see. You do not *have* the money. Ms. Merciful has given me the authority to strongly encourage you to *find* the money."

8 Ball Says...

Here are your answers to Monday's quiz. If you're feeling brave, or like you want to win a prize, leave a comment with how you did. You can be anonymous if you want. Feel free to share things that were shocking to you, or where you think you know me better than I know myself.

Once again, the winner(s) will be announced on Monday after all the comments are in (10pm, Sunday July 26th cut off for submissions to be eligible for the contest, but feel free just for interest sake to let us know how you did beyond the cut off date, just no prizes for you).

1. What year was I born? - 1981
2. What city was I born in? - Wallaceburg, Ontario, Canada
3. How many children are in my family? - 2
   
4. Where do they live? - Whistler, British Columbia, Canada; Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
5. What is my favourite colour? - Blue
6. What is my favourite sport? - Baseball/Softball
7. How many citizenships do I have? - 1
   
8. What is my favourite animal? - Giraffe
9. What colour is the stone in my nose ring? - Pink
10. How many piercings do I have? - 7
11. How many tattoos do I have? - 2
12. What were my high schools sports teams named? (like Spartans or Pioneers) - The Blue Dragons
13. Excluding Canada, how many countries have I set foot in? - 5 (USA, Ghana, Holland, Hong Kong/China, India)
    
14. How many times have I been engaged? - 0
15. Through what did I become a Christian? (although the Holy Spirit is technically a correct answer, it is not the one I'm looking for here) - Northumberland Youth For Christ
16. Who is my favourite jazz artist? - Billie Holiday
17. Who is my favourite theologian? - Martin Luther
18. What was the name of my first car? - Maurice
19. What major(s) and minor(s) did I graduate with? - Double majors Religion & Theology and Theatre Arts with a minor in English
    
20. What year did I graduate from university? - 2008
21. If you know, I'll give you a hug to not tell anyone what year I graduated from high school. - 2000
22. Name 3 things I'm allergic to. - Honey bees, wasps, certain trees, certain grasses, ragweed, dust mites, cat dander
    
23. What is my favourite drink (I'll accept one of 3 answers here - or all three for bonus points)? - Coca Cola Classic, Purple Knee-high, Pina Colada made from scratch
24. What is my favourite type of non-anglo food (or "ethnic" food)? - Thai (or maaaaybe Mexican)
25. Name 4 jobs I've had since I left high school. - Integrated pest management technician, grant proposal researcher and writer, assisting seniors in learning computer skills, rec centre staff, tree nursery staff, gardener, pita roller, pita pit manager, teaching assistant, baby sitter, production assistant, production manager, ice cream truck driver, landscaper, lawn crew girl, Spectator door-to-door subscription sales girl, A&W burger maker, greenhouse worker, office/administrative assistant, data-entry monkey, research monkey, envelope stuffer, singer, YMCA membership sales & service rep, uhh and I think that might be it

The Despising

It is not really a hidden fact that I really despise doing dishes. The other day in the act of doing said despised activity I came to a few conclusions on why there is so much despising.

1. "Old" food - I'm a finicky princess and I don't like dealing/touching with food that has been all mucked up, may have been in or near someone else's mouth and I especially don't like touching it after it's been in the sink for 10 minutes and has become soggy "old" food.
2. Back pain - there are few sinks that are at just the right height and closeness to the counter that don't cause me to bend and begin to ache as begin to wash the plates.
   
3. Excema - I have excema on my hands, it is worsened by exposure to moisture. A sink full of dishes in water is quite moist. I love itchy, red hands that have a rash on the palms and fingers. It is my favourite.

It made sense to my itchy hands, sore back and alerted gag reflex that dishes might not be their best friend.

So there, that that dishes!

Birth Control

You know how they have Take Your Kids To Work day? Well I was thinking about another day/night they should have for high school aged people (or really anyone considering bringing spawn into the world) - a sort of birth control, abstinence, safe sex over night trip. The trip would involve staying with a family that had children while the children were puking or having bad colds in the middle of the night. The victim/teenager/adult would be on bucket brigade and mop duty (or carpet stain removal). I don't know, but dealing with multiple puking little ones at 3am doesn't make me horny.

I tried to come up with some pithy slogans for this initiative. This was the best I could come up with - feel free to add your own...

• Other people's kids: making you less horny since they started puking at 3am.
• Think you're ready to be a Daddy, tough guy? Explain to your 18 month old why he can't breath.
• Does puke make you puke? Then keep your pants on!
• The 100% successful birth control - a combination of other people's kids and abstinence.
• Don't be a chump. Before you hump, think about a night of runny stuff coming out of their rump. (too far?)
• Abstinence; it-snot the worst thing that ever happened to you.
• Cough, cough, cough, cough, what? Keep it in your drawers.
• Nothin' spells lovin' like vomit chunk covered laundry in the middle of the night!
  

Treat Of All Adventure Movies

I went to the library the other day to pick up some movies. One of my selections was The African Queen. I enjoyed watching it as a kid and I haven't seen it in years. I noticed some Asian characters on the case, but didn't think pay them much attention. When I got home I read the synopsis on the back of the case:

During World War I, a hard drinking river trader Charles and a prim missionary Rose are forced to take an adventurous river expedition together. Throughout the voyage, they encounter tropical hazards, nefarious German officers and a surprising romance. The film takes the eventful location in Uganda in Africa and it is a rare treat of all adventure movies.

I have a hunch this may have been written by someone whose first language is not English. Regardless, it made me smile.

Long, Beautiful...

I'm going to see the musical Hair tonight at Port Hope's Capitol Theatre. It promises to be a good time. Though maybe not if you're URC, or CanRef, or OCRC or FRC, 'cause there'll be wangs 'n titties in one scene. Though maybe if you are concervative reformed you never get to see those unless they're you're own. So you should prolly come. (I'm never going to be able to get landscaping or sodding done now...crap)

If you're conservative, live in the Northumberland County region and looking beyond musical wangs to broaden your horizons, I recommend the East Northumberland Secondary School, Drama Club production of Michel Trembley's Les Belles Soeurs. I'm sad I'll miss it.